Teddy Bear (Stanley X Reader - With Some Ford For Spice)

41 (Let's Clear This Up...)

Ford burst out of the vending machine door with a Cycloptopus on his wrist. "Get down! Don't let it taste human flesh!" Ford punched it and it droped off his hand and crawled around the room.

Dipper yelled, "What is it?"

Mabel smiled. "Can we keep it?"

Stan hit it with a rolled up newspaper. "Kill it! Kill it!"

Ford and I chased it into the corner. "Patience... and..." when the cycloptopus' eye turned into a screaming mouth, "Gotcha!" He shocked it with his gloves and held up its burnt body.

"Great." Stan scrunched his nose. "Now get it outta here. It smells like if death could barf."

Dipper ran up to us. "Great uncle Ford! You need any help with that? I've read all about these creatures in your journal, and I think I know how to--"

"No!" Ford interupted. "I'm sorry, Dipper, but the dark weird road I travel, I'm afraid you cannot follow. Well..." He kissed my cheek. "Call me for dinner!" He closed the vending machine door behind him.

I noticed the spite on Stan's face.

"Maybe next time then?" Asked Dipper to the door. "Or not? Or never."

I followed quickly down the stairs. "Ford! I need to speak with you!"

Ford continued with his work. "Speak away, (y/n)."

"What have you told Jr?"

"Not much."

"What have you told him about gay marriage?"

"Oh..." Ford paused for a second. "That... I told him I didn't support gay marriage but it was up to him to make his own political views."

I sighed. "There it is... Ford... that was entirely the wrong thing to say..."

"What? Wait... you don't mean..." He turned to look at me. "He's..."

"And married." I sighed and leaned against the wall. "He told me you were homophobic..."

"I'm not... Is that okay now? In high school the only one more ridiculed than I was that one openly gay kid."

"Times change Ford... It's legal in most states now... in just that one offhand comment you offended your son more than anything else ever could..."

"Oh no..." Ford rubbed his face.

"I got him to give you one week. He says he's changing his name."

"To what?"

"Stanley."

"Are you kidding me?! First he steals my life, then my son! You're the only thing he hasn't taken... right?"

"Well..." I rubbed the back of my neck.

"Oh come on!" Ford sighed. "So he took everything..."

"No." I rubbed my face. "I don't think I was ever yours... Honestly I don't even know if I would have stayed if not for Jr... We were stupid. I fell in love with Stanley... we've been married for near 20 years now."

"Great..."

Suddenly Dipper fell through the ceiling.