First person reader insert. Accidental pregnancy trope. Fake marriage trope.
My name is (y/n). I fell in love with Stanford Pines. One year. I hardly knew him. We were young. We were reckless. In short, we were stupid. Best. Decision. Ever. I met a...
I walked into the dining room as Ford spoke to Dipper. "From now on, no more secrets between us. We're not the first two idiots to be tricked by Bill, boy. But if we work together, we could be the last."
Dipper put his head in hands. "But what about Bill? I broke the machine! Now we have no way to protect the shack!"
Suddenly Mabel slammed unicorn hair on the table. "Did someone say 'unicorn hair'?" Candy, Grenda, and Wendy were behind her. They were all beat up and covered in unicorn... fluids.
Dipper noticed me in the opposing doorway but ignored that. "Uh, no, actually?"
"Oh. That would have been perfect. Either way we got some unicorn hair!" She waved it in Dipper's face.
"Also some unicorn tears, unicorn eyelashes..." Candy gestured to Grenda, who has unicorn eyelashes.
"They finally gave us this treasure just to get rid of us!" Grenda dumped treasure on the table.
"It..." Ford looked at the things. "...can't be! This is a great day, girls! With this much unicorn hair, we should be able to completely shield the shack from Bill's mind-reading tricks!"
Mabel smiled. "Is it okay?"
Ford hugged Mabel. "Better than okay; it's perfect! You've protected your family. You're a good person, Mabel."
Mabel smiled wide. "Thanks, Grunkle Ford, but today I learned that morality is relative."
There was an awkward pause before Stan, pushing past me, ran in and grabbing the treasure the unicorns gave the girls. "MONEY!"
"I'll deal with that..." I followed Stan into the living room trying to remove myself without causing a commotion.
Stan sat counting the gold in his chair. He smiled at me. "Would you look at this loot?"
"Yes. I see it Stan." I sat beside him and grabbed up a handful of it. "We need to talk about something..." I shoved it in my pocket.
"Uh oh." Stan dropped the gold coin in his hand to his lap. "That's never a good sign from you." Stan attempted to get up.
I set my leg over his lap to hold him. "It's about our marriage..."
"Oh no..." Stan set his arm on my leg, not daring to knock me off his chair. "What now?"
"I got divorce papers."
Stan stared at me. "W-what?"
"Legally, I didn't marry you..." I pulled the envelope from my pocket. "I married Stanford Filbrick Pines..."
"Oh..." Stan still looked confused.
"All you have to do is sign the paper as Stanford and then we go to the court house and get legally married." I unfolded the paper and handed Stan a pen from my pocket.
"Sounds easy." Stan signed the paper, propping it against my leg.
"Perfect. In a week we'll go to the court house and get legally married." I moved my legs and grabbed a smaller diamond from his lap. I kissed his cheek and slipped the diamond into my pocket. "I'm making pizza for supper... be done in 1/2 hour."
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