First person reader insert. Accidental pregnancy trope. Fake marriage trope.
My name is (y/n). I fell in love with Stanford Pines. One year. I hardly knew him. We were young. We were reckless. In short, we were stupid. Best. Decision. Ever. I met a...
I walked into the area after watching the tie burn and sat towards the back. I looked up at the sound of Mabel's voice. I jumped up at the sight of Mabel.
Bud turned to the audience. "Those, uh, those are just some... demolition dummies. Nothing to see here!"
Stan pointed at Bud. "Can it, Gleeful!" Stan ripped the sleeves off of his jacket and yelled. He ran backstage.
"Gleeful!" I jumped onto the stage as the crowd moved to watch Stan.
Shandra narrated the entire situation. "In a shocking turn of events, Stan Pines has run to the aid of two children who appear to be in danger!... And the crowd is loving it!"
I grabbed Bud by the shirt. "If those kids die, so do you!"
The screen on his stomach lit up with Gideon's face. "Mizz Pines..."
"Mrs. Pines..." That was the first time I hadn't been on the other side of that. "Why are you doing this?"
"Duh. Revenge! Revenge for throwing me in jail!" yelled the the boy on the screen.
"You're going to kill to children to do that?! I know your only 10 but you are a lot more mature than this!"
"No I'm not."
My nose twitched into an angry snarl for a second before I ran off to join the crowd.
Bud sat down and banged his fists on floor. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, not again!"
Suddenly Stan grabbed the kids and jumped off of the memorial as Bud pushed the handle on a detonator, blowing up the memorial. The kids and Stan screamed before landing in the huge pile of Stan's bird seed, unharmed. Chunks of the memorial rained down and people ran for cover. One hit Bud and knocked him to the ground.
The timer has finished counting down and the "mayor picking eagle" was set free. It cawed, flew overhead, and settles down near Stan, kissing his head. It was the weirdest thing I'd ever seen. Stan helped the twins out of the bird seed pile and brushed himself off.
The crowd cheered. "Mayor Pines! Mayor Pines! Mayor Pines! Mayor Pines!"
Against all odds, Stan had won on his own. I sighed. "Guess I'm going with plan B..." I put my hand in my pocket and grabbed up the fat envelope. I made my way unnoticed to the news station and dropped the envelope with an intern. "Make sure Shandra gets that today." I went home, confident I had done the right thing.
Time skip
I sat half on Stan's lap, one leg over his, my butt mostly on the arm of the chair. Dipper and Mabel sat on the floor in front of us.
The news came on and Stan's face appeared behind Shandra "This just in! Stanford Pines loses!" A red banner appeared over Stan's face with the word "DISQUALIFIED" on it.
Stanley's jaw dropped. "What?"
Shandra continued, "Despite winning an overwhelming 95% of the vote, election officials had to disqualify him due to discovery of an extensive criminal record."
Stan looked at me. "Oh boy."
Mabel turned to look at Stan. "Grunkle Stan, what did you do?"
Stan shrugged. "What didn't I do?"
Shandra looked at the papers in her hands. "Crimes include shoplifting, teaching bears to drive, a new crime he invented called "burglebezzlement", first-degree llamacide..."
I sighed and smiled at Stan.
Stan shook his fist at the TV. "That llama knew too much."
Shandra continued." Due to this shocking development, it would appear the mayorship passes to the only candidate who filled out their paperwork: local enthusiasm enthusiast Tyler Cutebiker."
The view on the TV cut to Tyler on a podium. Durland and Blubs gave him a mayoral sash and a bouquet of flowers.
He blushed as the crowd cheers. Tyler whispered. "Got it."
Shandra was handed a gigantic stack of paper. "We will dedicate the rest of this broadcast to listing Stan's crimes. First-degree thermometer theft. Pug trafficking..."
Stan shut off the TV. "Whew! At least they didn't list any of the bad ones. On an unrelated topic, I have a lot of cheap pugs and I need to move them fast."
Dipper gave a sad smile. "Aw, I'm sorry, Stan. I actually think you as mayor would've been fun."
Stan looked at me. "Eh, maybe it's for the best. I got close to the dream, though, kids."
"Hey, I knit you something.." Mabel kneeled down and gave Stan a sash that read 'OUR HERO.' "It's not official, but I think it fits." She gave the sash to Stan.
Stan started to cry.
Dipper cocked his head. "Grunkle Stan, are you crying?"
Stan wiped his eyes. "I got campaign confetti in my eyes!"
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