First person reader insert. Accidental pregnancy trope. Fake marriage trope.
My name is (y/n). I fell in love with Stanford Pines. One year. I hardly knew him. We were young. We were reckless. In short, we were stupid. Best. Decision. Ever. I met a...
A man in an America shirt was selling bird seed. "Suport your favorite candidate by throwing election seed!"
Shandra stood beside me, the camera trained on her. "Welcome all to the final debate in what sure to be on a cosmic scale a forgettable blip in human history." The candidates walked out and the camera moved to the stage. "And here come the three most popular candidates!"
Tyler came out with a nice smile. Bud was a bit of a creep. "Oh, hello there Stanford! Long time, no see! Tee-hee! Woohoohoo!" He nudged Stan with his hip.
Stan didn't noticethe weirdness. "Don't you tee-hee me. I'll debate you into the ground." At least he wasn't wearing a tie.
Shandra grabed my attention again. "But what's this?" Soos walks up the stage wearing the mind control tie. "One new candidate has entered the ring!... Let the debate begin!"
A bell rang. "First question. What's your position on axes! Wait, I mean..." Dan squinted at the card. "...taxes!"
Stan smiled. "Easy! Taxes are the worst. I propose we stimulate the economy by waging wars on neighboring cities. We. Have. The cannons." The crowd booed. "What? Uh..." He looked desperately on his queue cards.
"I don't know much about taxes, but I can promise you a kitten in every pot!" Soos pointed accusingly to the right. "That doesn't make sense, Mabel." He pointed accusingly to the left. "You don't make sense, Dipper!" The tie sparked up.
"Friends, friends. Can't you see what's happening on this stage? These politicians are dancing around the issues. Well... I can sing around the issue!" He ripped apart his clothes to reveal a blue tank top, red sparkly pants and a belt with a small screen on it. I looked away as he sang, "Oh crime is bad! Crime is oh-so bad! Vote for Bud and there ain't gonna be no crime! Crime's bad. Vote Bud." He layed down and winked. I gagged.
Tyler clapped before giving his response. "Just go git it!"
Shandra rolled her eyes. "You may now throw your bird seed!" Most of the crowd threw bird seed into Bud's box but I dropped some in Tyler's box. "And now a quick intermission."
I quickly made my way back stage. I found Dipper and Mabel. "You two!"
"Uh oh." Dipper turned toward me. "Grantie (y/n)... what are you doing here?" Mabel asked.
"I'd thought I was watching a fair campaign... Now hand it over." I stuck my hand out for the tie. Reluctantly Dipper handed it over. "Thank you." I took it tight in my fist and walked out of the area. I pulled out my lighter that was in my pocket and set the tie aflame. That was the end of that.
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