First person reader insert. Accidental pregnancy trope. Fake marriage trope.
My name is (y/n). I fell in love with Stanford Pines. One year. I hardly knew him. We were young. We were reckless. In short, we were stupid. Best. Decision. Ever. I met a...
Ford sighed as I walked in. "Listen, Stanley, did it ever occur to you to if you joined us you might actually have fun?"
"What? Now you listen to me!" Stan took Ford's bag from him. "As long as I live I will never..."
Dipper tried to stop Stan. "Grunkle Stan, wait!"
Stan lifted the bag. "...ever..."
Ford tried to stop him so I knew it couldn't have been good. "Stanley!"
"Play your smartypants nerd game!" Stan threw the bag to the floor and an infinity sided dice rolled out as Jr entered the room.
"No!" I yelled.
Probabilitor, an ogre, an elf, and a Griffin came from the game. "Mortals of dimension 46'\, kneel before me and..." Probabilitor rolled dice. "...snivel! I am Probabilitor! The greatest wizard in all of mathology! Give or take an error of 0.4."
Jr stepped up beside me. "Is this normal?"
"Kinda..." I said to him.
Dipper smiled sheepishly. "Have you come to send us on the quest of a lifetime because we're the smartest players you've ever met?"
Probabilitor pointed at Dipper. "You are the smartest players I've ever met! That's why I'm going to eat your brains to gain your intelligence. It's what I do."
The Ogre agreed. "It's his thing."
"What?" I yelled.
Probabilitor gave the order. "Seize them!"
Ford pulled out a gun. "Your math is no match for my gun, you idiot!"
Jr's eyes went huge. "You carry a gun?!"
"Math ray!" Probabilitor shot a hole through the wall. "I'm not here to play games!" He grabbed Ford and Dipper and flew out the hole in the wall, followed by the other characters. "Now to the forest, for the ultimate game!"
After a moment of shocked silence Mabel was the first to begin freaking out. "Oh no! That crazy wizard is going to eat our brothers' brains! We have to stop 'em!"
Stan shrugged. "Eh, maybe let 'em get a couple bites in Ford's brain first. Even things out smartness-wise."
"Stan! He is your brother!" I yelled at Stan.
"So?" Jr shrugged me off.
"Jr! He is your father!"
"Who cares?" Stan asked.
Mabel stomped her foot. "Grunkle Stan!"
"Alright, alright. I guess if we have no other choice, we'll go on a..." Stan sighed. "...epic wizard quest. Everyone grab a weapon.
Stan pulled a bat from the couch cushion, Mabel took a rake(not sure were from), Jr crossed his arms as he shoved pepper spray into his shirt pocket, and I slipped my hand into the pocket concealing my Swiss army knife. Mabel yelled, "We're coming for you, Dipper! And Great uncle Ford! And possibly that hot elf, if he's got anything to do with this." And we ran off into the forest.
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