Teddy Bear (Stanley X Reader - With Some Ford For Spice)

63 (Outta Ammo)

I sighed as I checked my last gun. Empty. As empty as all the others. We'd taken out so many eye bats we were out of rounds. Now we're were low on rounds and food. There was too many of us. I could only hope this would be over soon.

I heard someone kick in the door with a yell. "Yaaahh!"

Celestabellebethabelle, Chutzpar, Bats Biker, Woodpecker guy, Candy, Stan, Grenda, Sheriff Blubs, Pacifica Northwest, Old Man McGucket and some Gnomes were all in the dining room. "Yaaaahhhh!"

I hear Dipper and Mabel's voice. "Stan?"

Stan sounded dumbfounded. "Kids?"

I threw down the gun and ran into the room. "Kids!" I dropped to my knees and wrapped my arms tight around him. "I can't believe it! I thought I lost you two!"

Soos hugged Stan. "Mr. Pines! It's really you! I've been hugging strangers to practice for this moment."

Wendy slamed into Stan for a hug. "We missed you, you old codger."

Stan chuckled. "I've missed you knuckleheads, too. It's good to have you back."

"So...what's everyone doing here?" Dipper gasped as some Lilliputtians ran past him.

Mabel looked around. "Yeah there's like monsters and gnomes, and is Pacifica wearing a potato sack?"

Pacifica put her hands on the hips, refusing to be shown up. "Hey! Even in a sack I still look better than you."

"It's..." I looked at her. "It's a very long story."

Wax Larry King was still in the vents. "Hey, is anyone gonna feed me? Larry King's disembodied wax head wants num-nums."

Grenda yelled at, or maybe spoke to (its hard to tell), the head. "We're trying to ration our food, remember?" Wax Larry King began chewing on her hair. "Uhhh...it's happening again."

Multi-bear closed the vents
Pituitaur kept watch at the door now rather than the TV. "Hey, everyone! Eye-bat!"

Everyone gasped.

"Out of amo! Plan B!" I barked out in an almost drill sargent like way.

A Gnome yelled, "Evasive maneuvers!"

Stan slammed the door and grabbed Dipper and Mabel. "Shhh, keep it down."

The refugees scattered about the ground floor. A gnome yelled, "Get the lights!"

I covered the big fire and doused the candles before I watched as an eye-bat turned a scampering raccoon into stone and flew off with it. "We're good."

Stan lit a match and threw it into the can containing the newly snuffed fire, illuminating the shack, revealing all the people sitting around the room rather than just the fight team. "Welcome to what's left of normal around here. Home base."

My eyes scanned across the various people hiding in the Mystery Shack, doing the same mental role call i did each time a new person or thing arrived.

Toby had some gnomes pulling darts out of him. "Ow!"

Greggy C. was sitting on a stool. "We have..." the rest of Sev'ral Timez joined singing, "Several injuries!"

Each clutch their carefully bangaged injuries. "Oh, ow..."

Chubby Z. cluched his torso. "Ow, my liver, girl!"

That was the same little song and dance, so to speak, that they gave each time.

Dipper cowered. "Ah! Rumble McSkirmish?"

"Do not be afraid. Weirdmageddon has taught me, there are some battles I cannot win. I am now Humble McSkirmish." A digital "-50 despair" appeared next to Rumble, a rather normal thing now.

Mabel sounded like she might cry. "Grunkle Stan, how'd this all happen?"

Stan shrugged. "So I was hammering signs out back when the sky started vomiting nightmares. I listen to a lot of AM radio so I knew what this meant: the end of the world. What I didn't expect was what happened next. The goat grew to 40 feet tall and the totem pole came to life and attempted to attack the house. Turns out whatever you and my brother did to the shack with your unicornvoodoo made the crazy place invincible to weirdness."

Dipper smiled at his conclusion. "Of course, the unicorn spell. That's why this is the only place Bill's magic can't touch."

I indicated Old Man McGucket. "That's when McGucket showed up leading a bunch of injured stragglers through the forest. I felt horrible knowing that there were still others out there and in danger of being turned to stone or worse. I started hunting for people and using our mini Arsenal to take down eye bats. I brought back a pretty steady flow of people."

"They needed a place to stay and since the mayor got captured, I elected myself de facto chief. The plan's to stay in here and eat Brown Meat until we run out, then I vote we eat the gnomes." Stan indicated a gnome.

Jeff, the lead gnome, wasn't to happy about that. "Hey! I'm short, not deaf!"

Stan stopped him. "Shh! Shh! Stress will make you chewy."