//For Crying Out Loud...// Matty Healy story!! (Completed) •IN EDITING•

//Chapter 21//

Kays P.O.V ------

"What? Why you keep looking at me?" I snap at him. He's making me paranoid and nervous.

I swear he's doing it on purpose now. Every time I catch him staring he looks away, smiling. Even though he knows I've seen.

"Ever felt like you know someone" He pauses, then laughs, as though he's just heard for himself what he just said out loud. Shaking his head "like, really know someone. When, obviously you don't?" he asks me. Watching me. Looking down at me as we walk side by side to his place.

Yes, I know exactly what you mean. Cause I feel it too. With you.

"Erm, no. Not really" I'm not admitting to this. No way. I laugh, nervously. It's ridiculous how nervous he makes me feel. It's ridiculous how much he reminds me of him. But I'm not gonna tell him. I'm not Just gonna bring up 'hey. you really remind me of my ex. Can we hang out please' that would be disastrous! Creepy. Ridiculous! Imagine.

"Oh" he laughs again. But he doesn't admit that's how he feels. I'm guessing he feels it too with mentioning it.

"So do you play any instruments or just sing?" he asks me as we've been quietly walking for a good 5 minutes - I'm sure he's asked before -You can only kick the same little rock a certain amount of times before boredom kicks in. The streets round here look kinda familiar. Manchester's a big place. I've not really got around, but I know I've definitely seen these streets before. I just don't know when or how.

I attempted to make conversation a few times, but I just feel like I'll be rambling on about something he has no interest in or something he doesn't like. Because then maybe he won't wanna hang out. He might find me painfully boring. And I don't want that happening. I need someone I can hang with, for a little bit. Someone just for company. I'll go mad now, if I have no one and have to go through all this on my own again. I know it!

"Just sing -sang" I correct myself "always wanted to play guitar though" I smile as an image of him flashes through my mind. Sat on the floor, his back against the bed, learning to play new songs, lost in his own world. While I just sat and watched. Admiring him. A few times he'd try and teach me, standing behind me to guide where my fingers should be. How I should strum it. I could never get the hang of it. I never had the patience to learn back then. He found it hilarious though.

"I can teach you" he offers with a smile. Pulling me away from my day dream. Oh, another thing that he has in common with him.

"sure" I smile. I doubt I will learn it.

"so how comes you stopped singing?" he asks as he pulls his phone out an reads a text, distracted

"Dunno" I shrug "I choose bad choices in life. Bad people to hang around with - person" I correct myself again.

he puts his phone away and looks at me "go on, who? If you wanna talk about it, I mean?" he smiles at me, showing his pearly whites, giving me a genuine smile.

"Just an ex" I shrug. Lou's now the only person I have to talk to. Well, for now. Maybe if I eventually open up to someone - to him. I'll feel a little better. To get things off my chest. Get some weight off my shoulders. In a weird sense I feel I can trust him. But my judgement on people has never been 100% to start with. But it's not like I have friends to choose from. Or family for that matter. I just seem to be finding people who he knows. Unfortunately. Gemma. George.

His brows fall, as he frowns. What did I say wrong?

"This-" he pauses as he stares at me "ex" he smiles again "he was a bad one?" I nod. Not really sure what to say here. It wasn't just Matty's fault. Yeah, he introduced me to drugs and drink, but it's not like I didn't have a tongue in my mouth to say "no" I chose to do it. I wanted to be close to him. To do everything he did. I needed him. I was scared of losing him. I had to make sure I did everything and was interested in exactly the same things as him.