//For Crying Out Loud...// Matty Healy story!! (Completed) •IN EDITING•

//Chapter 67//

"Where the fuck is he?" George shouts, hearing his voice sounding from outside the house before he forces his way inside. The door banging against the wall. I don't move from the floor. I make no attempt to ready myself for a fight. I deserve it. I'm wanting him to kick the living day light out of me right now. It's what i deserve. It's what i want.

He grabs me from the floor, quickly forcing me up against the wall. I carsh into it with force, knocking all the air out of my lungs. But i already felt weak before this.

"Why?" he shouts in my face as he holds me up with my t-shirt scrunched in his hands. I don't say anything "why?" he shouts again, louder. Pulling me away from the wall slightly then ramming me back into it. Again knocking more air out of me. I drop my head. Refusing to give him answers. Refusing to even look at him.

"You never even fucking slept with Mel!" he says through his teeth. Furious "why lie?" he growls. His breathing heavy as he stares at me with pure hatred before dropping me. Allowing me to collapse on the floor again. Where i belong "what the fuck is wrong with you?" he starts to pace up and down the kitchen floor. His eyes never leaving me.

Not having an answer for any of those questions.

I take a few glances up at him, but then take my attention back to the floor. I feel his eyes burning into me, waiitng for answers. I shrug, receiving a heavy sigh from him. Then im up on my feet again. Being forced to stand. Expecting anger again, even more so this time. But its the opposite. It isn't what i was expecting. He pulls me into him. Wrapping his arms around my shoulders "what's happened to you mate?" he asks with sympathy. Confusion. Irritation. But again i shrug. I don't have any words. I don't have answers. I have nothing. Absolutely nothing anymore.

i don't even know myself anymore. That's the scariest part.

"Here. Get this down you" George hands me a cup of black coffee. I shake my head, not wanting it. I need something stronger. Need being the key word here. I need that shit to get me through this shit. It's the onyl way i will.

"Theres a bottle of red in the fridge" i tell him. Wanting him to understand that i need it, without kicking off at me. I need a mate now. Not a lecture.

"Just..." he starts with a raised voice but stops himself "just drink that" he looks over at me quickly, then away again, still annoyed "we need to talk" he tells me as he begins to fidget with his hands.

I don't wanna fucking talk. What's there to talk about? It's done. Everythings done! Kay's accepted it. He needs to.

"whats happened to you man?" he sits, resting his chin on his hand as his elbow rests on his leg, staring at me. Baffled. Angered that i've given up. Not only on Kay but on everything. Basically life it's self.

"Have you ever, er-" i pause. Not knowing how to word what i wanna say. How to explain how i actually feel. I don't necessarily want to tell him. I don't want anyone to know. But he's my mate. Probably the only one i have right now. Well, the only person that's giving me time. But him, himself, knows how hard this has been, with Kay. He's been a sligh part of it too with her. So he deserves to know. The best i can explain. I don't know anything myself anymore.

He nods for me to go on, sitting forward in the chair slightly

"have you ever had that fear of waking up?" i ask him quickly, taking a quick glance at him. To read his facial expression to know if he's getting what i mean

He doesn't say anything. His brows drop to say he's not getting it

"well i have. I've gotten to a point i sometimes fear to wake up. Sometimes because i feel like I'm just, done. you know?" i look at him again. Still confused but still listening and wanting to know "like i dont actually wanna be here anymore" i take in a deep breath, but keep going. While i can "But mainly because I've been fearing for her life. Waking up and wondering how she is. Or how bad she is today, with her mood and how she's feeling. Fearing to find out if she's done soemthing stupid again. fearing that she's not even here now"