//For Crying Out Loud...// Matty Healy story!! (Completed) •IN EDITING•

//Chapter 57//

I stop still, soon as i walk out of the room. All six eyes fixed on me. Taking my expression in. Tears down my cheeks the pain across my face.

"Matt?" Lou steps forward to me "what's wrong?" concern clear in his voice. Thinking the worst

"She's fine" i shake my head "she wants to see you" i point back to the room behind me.

He sets off, opening the door "I'm sorry okay!" i tell him before he gives me a confused frown an walks in.

Kay's P.O.V--

"Hey" i whisper as my best friend walks in. Looking hurt, lost, upset. I offer him a smile as he takes a seat next to the bed. He grabs my hand. His warm hand against mine cold.

"How you feeling?" he smiles up at me. Looking for a bit of hope. Knowing I'm far from okay. Knowing somethings wrong

I shake my head, rahther than going into everything. I don't even know how i feel anymore. I don't even know myself anymore "I'm scared" i whisper, speaking the truth to the only friend I've ever had. The only person who's understood me and never judged me. He nods back. As if to say he knows I'm feeling like that "I've missed you" i squeeze his hand tight. He gives mine a light squeeze back, staring at me

"I've missed you too. Why you scared Kay?" he watches me.

"Can i have a cuddle?" the tears escape my eyes again. I try and wipe them away quickly. But Lou's up on his feet, beating me to it. He wipes the tears away with his hand before he sits down on the bed next to me. He puts his arms around me, pulling me into his chest "feels nice. Feels like home" i whisper into his chest, speaking more to myself.

He holds me for a short while. Holidng me tight as i cry on him. As i try thinking of how to word my goodbye to him.

"I need you to do me a favour?" i ask him. Still cuddled into him

"Anything" he kisses the top of my head. Still unaware of what's happening here.

"I need you to take care of Matty for me" i smile up at him. A small smile. Trying to steady my breathing as the urge to cry out, hits me in full force again. But i hold my breath quickly to stop myself

"Matty can take good care of himself" he chuckles away to himself "It's him that needs to take care of you" he smiles down at me, still holidng me in his arms

"I'm not his problem anymore" i whisper to him. Watching his face now. Trying my best to break this to him gently. Trying to word it right so this doesn't turn into a fight. This is the only goodbye I'm going to get. I don't wanna mess it up and regret it.

"Try telling him that" he laughs again. But his laughter slowly dies down, and something hits him as he gives me an off like

"I have" i tell him, giving him a serious look.

"What?" he sits up suddenly "What are you doing Kay?" he becomes panicked

"Just hear me out, please" i beg him. This isn't going well. "you and Matt" i pause. Trying to steady my breathing again "I'm no good for neither of you. I've fucked my own life up. I can't even bare the person i am anymore. I hate myself. I'm not sticking around to ruin yours or his too-"

"No!" he speaks suddenly, cutting me off "You're not doing this. Why are you doing this?" he jumps off of the bed quickly. Becoming annoyed quickly as he paces back and forth, along the bed.

"You need to go back home and-"

"No. Shut up!" he shouts "Stop trying to make this a goodbye" he glares at me as his bottom lip trembles "I lost you once.... no-"