//For Crying Out Loud...// Matty Healy story!! (Completed) •IN EDITING•

//Chapter 66//

Matty's P.O.V---

The room's silent. Too silent, for too long. I feel everyone's eyes on me. I can hear everyones whispers aimed at an about me. An it's as though I've just suddenly sobbered up. Shock takes over me. As though I've just realised what I've actually done

"Shows over" i spit loudly, talking to everyone as they watch me, glaring an scowling with hatred. One by one people slowly start to take their focus away from me. Some trying to encourage others to get back in the party spirit as Adam quickly scurries around with a bottle of vodka in one hand an red in the other. Trying to re-fill glasses as in a way to concentrate on drinking again an forget the show i just put on. The drama that just escalted. Drama that is mine and Kay's life.

I wipe the last of the blood away from my nose with the back of my hand. Taking my attention over to George. I take in a deep breath beofre heading over to him as he stands chatting to Ross now... obviously about me. With his back facing me. I'll be lucky not to get another. But i know it's what i deserve. So I'm kind of hoping for round two.

I need to feel. I'm too numb from what's happened just now. I need to feel pain.

I clear my throat purposly, loudly to try an get his attention. I know he hears me. But as i was expecting he ignores me "George..." i wait. Hoping he just gives me a chance to explain. Not that i have an explanation ready.. I haven't a fucking clue what just happened. Or why i did it. It's like that wasn't even me just then. What the fuck have i done... seriously? "Mate, i-"

I'm stopped when George suddely turns to face me. Scowling down at me. His body towering over me, shaking from anger. And for once I'm actually a little afraid of my... ex friend. He shakes his head at me slowly, with pure discust across his face. Disgust like I've never seen a person recieve before

"Just let me explain, i don't even-"

"Leave it!" Ross leans to the side to speak to me. But his look an facial expression isn't any better nor any warmer to me. I've really fucked it this time.

Fuck!

"Mate, look... Ross-" I attempt to try with him as George walks off. Clearly had enough at this point. With me. With everything to do with me.

What the hell is wrong with me.

What's happening to me....

"Nah!" Ross shakes his head at me too. Him too walking off and not letting me get my side across.

"Fine" i whisper more to myself before i head for the door. Trying to convince myself that's okay.

But i can't quit it. I need just one person on my side. One person to understand i don't even know myself anymore or why I'm acting this way...

I stop, turning, one last time... "Ad" i shout over at him, hopeful "come on man, I've been there for you..." theres a long pause. He keeps his back to me. His shoulders going stiff as soon as i call him

"Go Matty. No one wants you here. You've gone to far!" he practically shouts. Cutting everyone's conversations off as the room falls silent again. Uncomfortable. Eerie.

Alright then.

And that's when it's clear, i've fucked it. An lost everyone. But non one of these cunts in here matter to me, not compared to the person I've just destroyed and ripped apart.

That kills. It's slowly but surely killing me inside.

And then it hits me, that this is what i deserve. I did this all on my own.

I wish she did hate me. Just to make it a little easier. Just to help me understand a little better.

She should. I need her to hate me. That's the right thing to do. To feel.