//For Crying Out Loud...// Matty Healy story!! (Completed) •IN EDITING•

//Chapter 28//

"in here?" he points over using his chin as he walks with his hands in his pockets of that famous leather jacket he seems to live in these days. Speaking up for the first time in our awkward 10 minute walk.

Someone please remind me again why i agreed to this and thought this was a good idea. My high spirit and good mood is slowly shifting as the minutes go on.

And i now have a horrid feeling in my gut. Why didn't i just say no. Instead of being cocky and thinking i could cope with this. Clearly getting way ahead of myself.

Yes, i am slowly but surely getting over this guy. But I'm not 100% fixed. Not just yet. An this could smash down the small wall I've worked so hard on. What I've built around myself for protection. Protection from him. It could destroy it in a second. One bad word, an I'll be back to square one!

what the hell was i thinking. Idiot Kay. You fucking idiot!

I can do this. Just for a few minutes. Just get by for a few minutes.

This is where i convince not only him, but me. That I'm over him. That I'm done now.

"the pub?" i laugh. Not knowing if he's playing on that sarcastic side of his.

"oh. Let me guess " he pulls his hand out of his pocket, rubbing his thumb over his chin "Kay Addison has gone up in the world and doesn't drink through the day anymore" I'd like to think it's sarcasm. But i feel it's all seriousness behind his words as he glares at me. Emotionless.

"hardly ever touch the stuff these day's actually" i shock him. But he laughs to try an hide his expression. I think he gets the same feeling of not knowing what mood the others in. Or even what to say to the other. Why is here. Like why is he even bothering with me.

How different this is now, with us. It's crazy!

Before, i could read him like a book. I could tell what kind of mood he was in before he even opened his mouth. I could even finish his sentences before. But now. Now... nothing!

I just feel on edge with him. This is what I've wanted for ages. To feel nothing towards him. Empty. But now i kind off miss all the feelings from before with him. Those feeling that i got used to. The only feelings i used to know.

This whole, not giving a fuck about him is new. I guess i just need time to, not care. I doubt that even makes sense. But since when has anything fucking made sense with me. And him. It doesn't. Never has.

"Kay!" he shouts, making me jump.

Holy shit. How did i not realise he'd lit a joint up. I try and fan the smell away from my face. Fighting for fresh air. I've no idea why, or how. But the smell is repulsive to me now. I can't stand it. It's making me feel sick

"Fuck sakes Matt" i throw my hand up onto my chest as i feel like I've just had a mini heart attack from his outburst and from the smell of that shit "what?" i snap

He just laughs. That's all he seems to do these days "I said-... It doesn't matter. I'm heading in here for a beer. Guess you want a lemonade or something?" he shrugs after pointing to the same bar, throwing the half smoked joint to the ground and heading inside.

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I check my phone as i take a seat at a table in the corner of the bar, while Matty gets the drinks.

Finally! I read Lou's text, asking me to call him asap

"Hey. Where you been?" i complain in a sulky tone "No i, well i kind of met up with... I'll be heading home in like, 15, 20 minutes tops. Why?- No i just wanted to... Lou!" i snap "are you gonna let me even get a word in.... What?" i sit upright "what website? Well, whatever, page, website.... But, how? I mean, who?" I look up towards Matty. He's looking over his shoulder at me. A massive grin played across his face "him" i breath. Obviously. Fuking arsehole! "I'm coming home, now" i snap the call off. Standing and heading straight for the door without a word or a look towards the scum himself.

What the fuck!

Matty's P.O.V --------

"A beer, 2 shots of tequila and a lemonade. When you're ready" i shout over to the bar tender. He gives me a nod and gets straight on to it.

I've no fucking idea what I'm even doing right now. Why I'm here. Why she's here. But I'm just trying not to over think it right now.

Guess it just felt right.

She seems so, different now. Calmer. Happier. That girl sat there. The girl that's just sung her heart out to prove a point to me. She's not the same girl as before. She's not the Kay from the past.

She's better now. She has her head screwed on now.

It's as though we've suddenly changed places.

I had planned to fucking have it out with her. From all that shit before. With Gem. Once and for all. Properly. No bullshit. That's why i suggested this. But now, i dunno. I dunno how to. I'm gonna have to at some point. I know that. But just for this once. I want a bit of peace. To have no bullshit or drama. To prove to her, and myself, we can be civil. And kind of get along now.

Her performance from earlier flashes into my mind. An it causes me to smile, stupidly. I never knew she had that in her. I never knew she could blow me a way like that. I've heard her sing before. But not like that. She's-... She's kind of amazing!

I turn to look back at her, that smile still on my face as i have a strange feeling of being proud of her, takes hold of me...

But as i concentrate on her she throws her phone down into her bag and throws a disgusted frown over at me.

I stare at her confused as she gets up, heading for the door.

What's she doing? Is she leaving?

Why?!

"Kay?" i speak

She ignores me. Not even looking at me.

What the fuck now! Why is there always something!?

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HEEEEEY. Small chapter. Sorry! I've just had a busy few days. An i have loooooads of work to do right now. But i wanted you'se to have some kind of update. I will update tomorrow at some point. I'll make it a long'ish one for you'se too xXx Emilee.