//Chapter 70//

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Matty's P.O.V---

I'm suddenly blinded as the sun beams through the window as my mum throws the curtains open in annoyance with me. To my annoyance mostly. Disturbing my sleep. Disturbing me in my happy place. The only place i'm free from thoughts and tourment. I grunt, and flip myself over on the sofa, so my face is hid in the back of it. Trying to block out life. And the fact i even exist anymore. pretending I'm just invisible these days.

"I don't think so, Mr" mum shouts across the room as she begins to pick up empty beer cans, wine bottles and bangs the ashtrays back down on the glass coffee table after emptying them into the bin bag she picked up. Clearly offering to clear my mess "i think it's time you got up and did something with your life. It stinks in here" she complains. For what must be the millionth time now. Again, i ignore her. She's always complaining, i swear. These last couple of months it's as though it's 'everyone hate Matty time'

"Matthew!" she raises her voice louder. Losing her patience with me at this point.

"I aren't going anywhere" i tell her but it comes out muffled as my head stays pushed into the sofa. Using it as a sheild. Thinking I'm safe here. Making it clear i just wanna be left alone. Nothings changed. Everythings still as fucked up and just a massive mess. A big, huge hole in my life. That will never heal. It'll never get cleared up. So why would i now want to change things. I don't!

I feel her move to the bottom of the sofa, her hands instantly on the duvet that's over me. She grabs the bottom of it, trying to force it off of me "g-get. Off. Off it Matthew" she shouts at me like I'm a child. Stood with her hands on her hips when i take a quick look up at her. I shake my head at her in a way to just back off and leave me be. Jesus woman!

"No. Bugger off" i tell her when she doesn't budge. Grabbing the top, i try pulling it up towards me as she tries pulling it down off me. Both fighting for the damn fucking cover like a tug of war.

"Fine" she huffs, stroppy "See what your brother can do when he finally gets back from uni. He'll sort you out" she mumbles away to herself as she storms out of the living room. Basically past caring now.

What? Lou's coming back?...

I jump off the sofa in one swift move, following my mum into the kitchen.

"Lou? Is he- he's coming back?" i scratch my head, all of a sudden realising how pathetic and desperate i sound. But, i am. I really am. For company. A friendly face.

"He's heading home for a few days" she tells me but keeps her focus on washing the glasses and plates in the sink. Still upset with me "you know, this has gotta stop" she slams a plate down after washing it. I'm surprised it didn't smash. She finally brings her eyes to me "what ever it is- kay. Sort it with her. You don't need me telling you how much and what you've been through to know you can't just leave it like this. And maybe-

"Im er-" i cut her off. I don't need this chat right now. Infact i don't ever want this chat. It's done. She's gone. I just need to concentrate on me. An i know my little bro will be the one to help me "I'm gonna go take a quick shower. Yeah?" i point behind me. Gesturing I'm gonna do it now so she stops talking about things i dont need to hear. She nods with a small smile. Knowing I'm at least trying at this point. Because he's kind of the only person i have now. An i never thought I'd ever find myself saying this, but i do, i miss my little bro.

"Towels are in the cupbaord" she shouts up as i head up the stairs.

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Fresh from the shower, i head out of the bathroom dressed. Hearing noises from downstairs. He's here! My mood and feelings are still the same. I dont get this 'feeling better from a shower' bollocks. The only difference in me now is the fact i've had a shave an i probably don't smell as bad. Not that i needed to clean up. It's not like I'm going anywhere. I refuse to leave this house now-a-days.

//For Crying Out Loud...//  Matty Healy story!! (Completed) •IN EDITING•Where stories live. Discover now