//For Crying Out Loud...// Matty Healy story!! (Completed) •IN EDITING•

//Chapter 30//

His knocks turn into bangs as he hammers on the door when i don't reply or answer. He knows I'm in here. So this is pointless. Though now i wish i wasn't here. I wish i was anywhere but here.

All the times i was practically invisible to everyone. I used to wish, just for one day, that someone would notice me. Now, I'd do anything to never be seen and noticed again.

"Kay. Come on you div, i need my phone" he laughs.

I can't bring myself to move. Or to answer him. But i know i have to face him. I wipe the tears from my face with the sleeve of my top. I probably look a wreck now but i have no intention of checking my appearance in the mirror.

I feel so stupid.

I don't wanna see him right now. I walk back into the room slowly. I glance at the computer screen and have to force that sicky feeling away as the picture of them is still there. The image of them happy, together.

"go away" i shout. Keeping some distance between me and the door.

"what?" he laughs "what you doing? Come on" he knocks again still laughing.

Why has he done this to me? Set me up. What have i done to deserve this. All of this. More to the point why did i trust and believe him in the first place.

I feel angry now more with myself. This is my own fault. I knew you should and could never trust anyone. I can't blame anyone but myself here, can i?

People only lead you to disappointment. Something my mum used to always say and try an warn me about. I knew this. Before, i knew this.

I let my guard down for the first time. First fucking time an i get hurt. I get stabbed in the back with the biggest possible knife. And it's fucking painful!

I wipe my face dry, now ready to face him. I can do this. Just give him the damn phone and just close the door on him.

He's not worth any more of my time. He's not even worth one breath. He's getting no explanation. Not even a glance from me.

Soon as i see him i know I'm either gonna break down or hit the roof. My temper will slip. An I'm not sure which would be easier to deal with..

I'm sure it won't take long for him to figure out i know. And I'm sure he'll feel dead proud of himself.

The point of him being here this whole time, claiming to be my friend. My only friend - Was obviously for me to find out at some point. To break and destroy me.

I grab his phone from the desk and slowly head for the door. Stopping before grabbing the door handle. I take in a deep breath and open it

"Thanks" he snatches it straight out of my hand. I just nod, staring straight past him "what's wrong?" i can feel his eyes examinng my probably swollen red eyes and messy face.

I say nothing. Attempting to shut the door on him

"Kay?" he brings his arm out to stop the door with his hand "babe?"

I shake my head, now looking at the floor as my vision becomes blurry from the tears that i knew would come.

"congratulations" i whisper, still staring down. I don't think it was loud enough for him to hear. I try my hardest to force a smile. But i can't. I can't even pretend I'm okay like i used to be able to.

All this time I've worked on getting rid of the old Kay. To change my ways. To be better. Now I'd do anything to be that person again. To not care. To brush things off and learn not to let pain in.

This is the final blow to my gut. The final push to force me over the edge.

Tears roll down my face and drop to the floor.