//For Crying Out Loud...// Matty Healy story!! (Completed) •IN EDITING•

//Chapter 43//

I wake in a daze. Confused and slightly panicked. I have no clue where i am. Who brought me here. I look around slowly, trying to tell myself not to freak out. There's no one here with me. I prop myself up on my arms, trying to figure why I'm here. In a hotel room. Alone. With no recognition of any of this. I look across the room, noticing a piece of paper near the window. I stand, wincing as i realise my feet are covered in cuts. But i ignore the pain, i have to figure this all out. I grab the paper, reading the scribbled note **hope you slept well. I'll be back soon. D xx** i stare down at it, confused. D? Who the hell is that? And who ever it is, why did they bring me here?

I find my shoes near the door. Wasting no time i get them on. I'm not hanging around here. I haven't a clue what the hell is going on. I don't know a D. I don't even know where the hell i am right now! I head for the door, quickly getting a glimpse of my reflection in the full lengthed mirror. I look awful! Bringing my hand up to my face, i notice i have cuts there too. But the cuts don't bother me. I look like i have black eyes.. Like I've been in a massive brawl. Like someone's kicked ten bells of shit out of me. But the worst thing is, I've done this to myself. Caring, and giving a shit what people think has made me like this. I stare at myself. Realising just how broken i am now. An how much I've given up. An i know now, i know it's too late to be fixed. No one could help me. No one will. I don't have anyone to even try. And that's my fault too. Because i somehow manage to push everyone away. Even when i try and do what's best. When i try and help others out. I'm always the one who's left out. Pushed away and has to fend for herself. An now I'm at a point where i actually don't know what to do anymore. Just like everyone else, I'm tired of me. I'm sick of myself. But this is who i am, an i can't change. For anyone. I've tried! I can't even do it for myself! So what do i do now?

The door opens slowly, panic hitting me instantly. I run into the bathroom, to hide from whoevers kid napped me. Or taken hostage - can it still be called that when i have no one to care that I'm gone. No one to even know someone's taken me away? I stand with my back against the door, hoping to god they just think I've gone, escaped. This door doesn't even have a damn lock on it! I try and push my weight against the door, just incase they try coming in to get me. I hear what sounds like a carrier bag rustling and foot steps as the floor boards below them creak. I try and hold in my breathe. Trying to make no noise at all. I close my eyes, wondering what all this means. Wondering what they have planned, who ever it is. And why me. Because i deserve this? Because they know i have no one to come look for me? Because I've pissed them off? But who? The only person I've pissed off... My eyes go wide as i realise, as something clicks. It has to be. That's the only person who'd do something fucked up along these lines. I should of known she wasn't done. Gemma's planning to finish me.

I don't know why. But i seem to relax after i realise it's her. Because i know she hates me as much as i hate myself. Because in a way, what ever she has planned. I know i probably deserve it. What ever she has planned, i just want her to get it over and done with. Finish me off quickly. I want it to end. Everything. To just go away, and fast. Because i can't take any of this anymore. I can't take my life anymore. Or me.

I inhale sharply, pushing myself to just go out there, to her. And who ever else she's brought to do the job. I keep telling myself to just do it. Face her, and let her do it. Whatever she wants. An all i ask is, she does it quickly. And that she makes sure Lou never finds out.

I miss him!

"I'm ready!" i whisper to myself, slowly opening my eyes. I turn, creeping the door open a little. I peek my head round, preparing myself to see her again. But it's not her. It's a man. Now I'm back to panicked. Because it's clearly just a random psychopath who wants to harm me. I look at the door, debating whether to risk trying it. For it not to be unlocked, then it's game over for me! But... That's what i want, isn't it. I want everything to be over. I stand out of the bathroom, my eyes locked on the stranger. He turns suddenly, obviously hearing me "Dad?!" i practically shout. Confused. Angry. Relieved. Upset. I don't know! But i begin to shake, an again, i don't know why.