//For Crying Out Loud...// Matty Healy story!! (Completed) •IN EDITING•

//Chapter 52//

Matty's P.O.V--

I drop, frantic to my knees next to her. Not wanting to touch her incase she's hurt. Not wanting to touch her incase she gets angry and tries to walk away when it's clear she needs help. It's clear she was or still is in trouble. Blood. She's covered in blood. Who's? Why? I don't know what's happened. But i know I'm too late. I was too late.

I begin to scan over her body with my eyes. There's so much blood on her "Are you hurt?" i ask her panicked. As she just lays there, still. Smiling up as she stares at the sky. What is she doing? She's acting... strange "Can you hear me?" i raise my voice a little louder as she failes to hear my last question "Kay?" i shout her to get a reaction from her. Anything. But it's like she's there but she's just not awake. She's not here in the moment.

She starts to laugh, which confuses me and worries me more. I glance around, looking at what she might of seen to amuse her... there's nothing here "I'm a failure" she whispers so quiet I'm not even sure that's what she said. Then bursts into laughter again before repeating it again. Then again... and again....

"No you're not" i tell her. Hovering over her body as she still lays there in the rain. Her focus still up above. I want to touch her. To make sure she's okay. To see if she responds to my touch. I'll even take anger from her right now. I'll take anything. Just to know she's okay. She doesn't look nor is she acting okay.

I need her to be okay.

"Come on, we need to get you cleaned up" i try pulling her up off the floor. But she fights against me. Wanting to stay put. She brings her focus on to me. A huge grin spread across her face but her eyes hold pain. She looks at me like I'm dirt. Evil like. I ignore it, trying to pull her up again "Kay!" i shout at her again. I can only help her if she lets me. She needs to let me help her. I have to help her "let me help you"

"I don't need help" she props herself up onto her elbows. Smiling at me like this is a game. Like this is normal behaviour. When it's not. She's scaring the life out of me.

"You don't?" i ask her. Quizing her just to keep her talking. Talking's better than silence.

"Help is for the weak" she tells me with a nod then begins to laugh again. Dropping down onto the cold, wet floor again

"You're not weak" i shake my head at her, speaking the truth. She isn't. She's one of the strongest people i know. She's had to deal with the most shit in life. I wouldn't of been able to hack going through half the stuff she has. It would of killed me. Quite literally. She's broken, inside she's broken. I know that. I get that. But i can fix her. I will fix her. She just needs one person. Just someone. I'll be that person. For aslong as she needs me.

"Hmm" she hums, looking back up to the sky before she points up above. As though she's watching something, someone? I look up too. There's nothing there. Only the rain bouncing down hard and fast. Leaving us both drenched.

"I'm gonna help you up now okay" i tell her. I kow she'll probably fight against it and try and stop me again. But I'm putting my foot down. She can't stay here. I wait a few seconds, expecting her to tell me no. To try and shrug me off. But she doesn't. She's still focused on the sky. I lift her effortlessly. Bridal style. I set off back to the car. Kay's head rests against my chest as she plays with my leather jacket. Hearing and feeling her giggle as i carry her. Her behaviour becoming more unusual.

I place her down in the passenger seat, grabbing the seatbelt and quickly fastening her in before i run around to the drivers side. She rests her head against the car window. Staring out of the windscreen the whole ride.

I find a hotel. I leave Kay in the car, locking it before running in to check in.

I get back to the car. Focusing on my pocket to get the keys out when i hear a smash. The windows of the car have steamed up with having the heating on. I panic, not yet knowing what's happened. What she's done.

I yank the door at her side open, fast. Looking down at Kay as she sits there, a smashed bottle of vodka around her feet with a little sharp piece held in her hand, pointing, close to her wrist

"Kay? No!" i shout, snatiching the broken glass from her hand.

She brings her focus up to me, smiling again. What the hell has gotten into her? "Don't you sometimes just wonder how certain things would feel? Like you just want to feel" she asks. But it's as though she's talking to herself. Asking herself the question as she stares out of the window to the other side. I don't know what to say back to that. What to say to her.... So i shake my head, even though she's not looking. I pick her up again as she sits there quietly. Staring off into thin air.

I don't put her down till we get to our room. I place her down on the bed gently. She lays there. Not moving. She looks up at me, hurt expression on her face. I need her to speak to me. Tell me how she is. Tell me what happened. So i can help her.

"You're gonna be okay" i whisper, trying to hold back the tears threatening to spill out just from seeing her like this. I turn, heading for the bathroom

"Don't go. Don't leave me" she cries. Reaching for my hand

"I'm just gonna run you bath" i reassure her with a smile. She looks back up at me with a nod as tears still fall down her face as i wipe mine away

I undress her in the bathroom. Careful not to touch her skin. As she stands silent, lost. Hurt. Each time i take an item of clothing off her, I'm shocked to keep finding marks, bruises and bite marks all over her body. Along with blood. I feel like demanding to know what happened to her. I feel the blood boiling inside me each time i find a mark on her fragile body. But i can't. Not now. I have to stay calm. Strong. For her.

"Careful" i tell her as i help her into the bath. She plonks herself down into the water. Causing it to splash all over. I place my hand on the edge of the bath as i lean forward to grab a towel to wipe myself and the floor but I'm stopped when i feel her hand on top of mine. Her hand cold and shaking. She sits staring at our hands. I watch her for a moment. Trying to think of what she's thinking of. Her moods are all over the place. Up and down. i can't keep up. I don't understand. An i need to. I have to.

She begins to sob as i start to wash her hair. I want to just pull her out of the water an hold her. Let her fall to pieces on me. Tell her everything's gonna be okay. But i can't. An i don't know that for sure. I wish i did. I try and block out the sound of her crying. Because each second she cries it's hurting me more and more and breaking me inside.

"All done" i tell her. Grabbing the towel for her ready for when she gets out. Now she's washed and clean "I'll give you some privacy. Put this on" i tell her pointing to the bathrobe. Till i can get to a store in the morning and get her some new clothes.

I get to the door, just about to walk out "I killed him" she whispers. I snap my body around to face her quickly

Her eyes are on me. Watching me "What?" i ask her panicked. Confused "what did you say?" i ask as she stays quiet

She then shakes her head at me "nothing" she smiles then stands slowly to get out. I turn back, walking out of the bathroom.

She killed someone? Is that what she said?... What?! No. No! She can't of. What?!!....