//For Crying Out Loud...// Matty Healy story!! (Completed) •IN EDITING•

//Chapter 44//

"Kayleigh" I'm shaken awake, gently by my dad. I must of dozed off in the car. I just constantly feel tired lately. That's when I'm happiest. When I'm asleep. When my brain can shut off and stop me thinking. But it doesn't always work. The nightmares i have are sometimes worse than my thoughts. They can be more painful and harder to deal with. But this one was a pieceful sleep. Nightmare free. I frown at my dad, annoyed from being woken up "Sorry. We're at the airport now love" again i frown at his choise of wording. He best not be thinking, because I've choosen to come back with him, that this is a pass for him to play "daddy" to me. Or thinking he's getting nominated for dad of the year award. Cause he'll be massivly mistaken. This is for me. And only me. I need this. I have to get away, for me. He see's the look, but guessing he chooses to ignore it "you go in. We'll get your things" he tells me, pointing to the entrance "o-okay" i yawn. Heading inside. I find some empty seats, i plonk myself down. Having a look around. Trying to distract myself from thinking. Because if i have even a second to think into this. Into what I'm doing. I'm scared I'll realise I'm making a mistake. An I'll not go. When i need to. I have to do this. There's nothing here for me anymore.

"Just gonna go check in" my dad shouts as he walks past, struggling, carrying a load of my things. I chuckle, nodding so he knows I've heard him. I pull my phone out, the screen saver picture being me and Lou. I forgot to change it. I smile down at it, remembering the day it was taken. We had a duvet and movie day. The day i opened up about, well, me basically. From the shit with my parents. How much i resented my dad. To when and how i fell in love with Matty. To him basically being my life. Explaining how he saved me. How he was the only person there for me. To then vanishing, leaving me to cope with my mums death alone. I realise now why he hardly said much that day, in the conversation. Because he couldn't of said anything without giving it all away, the fact they were brothers. Still don't know to this day why he didn't just tell me. I thought he knew me. And trusted me. Like he did with me, about his sexuality. He said i was the only one he felt like he could talk to. Who wouldn't judge him. An well, that's exactly how i felt with him. "Kayleigh!" my dad shouts, stood next to me, clapping his hands to get my attention as i still sit, staring, smiling down at my phone "sorry?" i ask confused "i said would you like a drink?" he smiles "Er, a vodka" i smile back then taking my attention back to my phone. He frowns down at me "please" god. He better try and give me a mouthful for not using my manners. He laughs "no, seriously. What would you like to drink, tea? Coffee?" i stare at him, confused. I've already told him what i'd like "no, no. A vodka. Please" he shakes his head. Looking at his watch "bit early for that" i sigh heavily, throwing myself back in the seat. Oh, this is how it's going to be, is it? Tee-total for Kay? ... I don't think so "fine. god. I'll have a coffee" i roll my eyes at him as he walks off seeming extra pleased with his accomplishment of getting me to stay away from the alcohol. But little does he know, it's only this once.

We've been here just under an hour. It's almost 3pm now. I check my watch again for the hundredth time. My brain nagging at me to just go do it. Just go call him. But what's the point. He made it clear enough for me that he doesn't want me around anymore. He wouldn't give a damn i was moving away. He'd be ecstatic that i am. Because he thinks I'm this horrid, vile, drug addict who doesn't give a shit about anyone or anything. Only myself. An I'm just here, taking it all and agreeing to it all for the sake of what? Him. precious him. So he can still have what he left me for. Fame. I start tapping me feet against the floor becoming agitated that i don't know what to do. I want to do it, but at the same time, i don't?

"Everything alright?" my dad pulls his attention away from his paper. I must be annoying him with the tapping. But i don't care. I'm gonna continue to do it, just for that reason.

"Fine. I'm fine" i fake smile up at him. He just nods, and gets back to reading.

His phone rings "I'll be a few minutes. Gotta take this" he pulls it out of his waistcoat jacket pocket, stands to his feet and walks off. Whatever. I watch him walk off, out of the airport. Becoming more and more pissed off at myself from being undecided.

"Fuck sake!" i mumble to myself before i head outside myself. Just do it. Just call him!

Just as i attempt to search for his name in my contacts, Eve's name lights up on the screen. Shit.....

I let it ring a few times, unsure whether to answer. I answer just in time "Eve? Hey" i beam down the phone "I miss you" she complains, whiny, like her usual self. I instantly feel guilty. For leaving. For not telling her. But i can't. Not just yet. When i get there, i will. I can't face telling her just yet, just incase she comes to see me off. I won't be able to deal with that. I'm already broken enough "miss you too" i whisper back, trying to force the lump in my throat away. I've cried enough. No more tears! "How you doing?" i try changing the conversation. Trying to keep it upbeat so she doesn't click on about anything. I have to make it seem as though I'm doing okay. Because i can't be having her feeling guilty too. I did tell her to go, afterall "I'm okay" she says simply "you?" i pause, thinking how to word it. How to lie "Fine. Yeah" i say back feeling awkward for lying to her "you don't...sound it" she clearly knows me too well. Someone tries getting around me, but at the same time i step to the side, he does, causing him to walk straight into me "Oh shit. Sorry" i chuckle "No. You're alright" he laughs too "blames on me" he smiles at me then walks into the airport "who's that?" she chuckles down the phone. I'm still laughing "just some guy at the airport" i laugh again then i realise what I've just said. Shit. Shit. Shit "airport?" she asks, clearly confused "where you going Kay?" she asks, genuinly sounding upset now. Fuck. "airport. Did i say airport?" i fake laugh, "i meant..." i can't think. An i panic "sorry Eve, gotta go!" i cut the call. Feeling guilty and massively pissed off at myself. God sake! All i had to do was lie, an i can't even do that!

Our flight is called out. As i still stand at the entrance. Dad walks over to me, smiling "You ready kid?" he asks, holding his arm out for me. I take a quick look outside, paranoid she's here, watching me leave. Imagining her being hurt that I'm going. That i didn't tell her. That i just cut her off when she kind of probably already knows what's going on. But that's stupid. I know she wouldn't of gotten here already. And it's just my emotions playing tricks on me. Making me feel bad. Guilty. I nod at my dad, joining him at his side as he puts his arm around me as we head for the plane.

Matty's P.O.V---

"Hann? come on man. We gotta get this song finished. We need one more verse" i tell him as he turns his back to answer his phone, holding a finger up to shut me up. I read through the lyrics we've just wrote down. Pretty proud of this one. I sit grinning away to myself. Feeling smug that we don't need George to do this. Seeing as it's him who has the problem, it's him missing out.

Ad shuts the call off and heads for the door, "gotta go. Eve needs me" he shouts but doesn't stop to talk.

"What? It's studio time. She can't just call and expect you to drop everything for her" i complain, shouting after him. She's so fucking annoying!

"She's upset!" he spits, unlocking his car door.

"What? You're so wipped man!" i joke, laughing, amusing myself. He doesn't say anything though. He gives me an annoyed look then climbs into his car, starting it up.

The car heads this way towards the building as i stand there watching him, a little pissed off to be honest. He's definitely under the thumb. He slows the car down, winding the window down as he gets to me "If your Lou wants to see Kay again, i suggest you call him and tell him to get his ass to the airport, now!" he shouts at me before he skids off. Leaving tyre marks behind. What? I watch after hiim, confused. Kay's at the airport? Why would she be at the....

Fuck sakes!

I pull my phone out calling him as i run for my car. He answers after the fifth ring "Lou!" i put my phone on my shoulder, against my ear as i need both hands to reverse out of the parking spot "airport now. Kay's leaving!" i shout. becoming panicked "What?" he says confused. I know he heard me "Just get to the fucking airport. Kay's leaving!" i shut the call off, trying to concentrate on getting to the airport, fast!

Don't fucking do this Kay!