//For Crying Out Loud...// Matty Healy story!! (Completed) •IN EDITING•

//Chapter 24//

I'm gonna be a little time hogger here - muwhahaha! (just skip this bit if you must!) - i just wanted to say a quick thank yooou, to the people reading (don't worry, there's quite a bit of the story left (: ) But I've noticed i have looads of ghost readers.. Which is fiiiine :) but the ones that actually comment, your the ones that have kept me going and still do now. A few times, I've got to the point on this, and thought 'im just gonna pack it in and leave it as that' as I'm aware my writings not really at a standard of most on here (with spelling and stuff.) I've always struggled since i was little (won't bore you - Ha) But yeah, like i said. It's the regular commenters that have helped keep this going. Even if i was just to have one person to comment, with something positive about my writing // the story.. It would keep me going... Just wanted you lot to know your comments // thoughts don't go unnoticed.

Now.... Lets skip to the good bit!

Matty's P.O.V ------

I turn. Noticing the coach is out of sight now as i carry on walking. Pushing back branches and bushes out of the way so they don't hit me.

I'm done with walking now. Finding a nice spot of grass. I drop on to my legs, on the ground. Never taking my eyes of the joint in my hand. My hand begins to shake slightly as i mentally begin to have a debate, soon to be full on argument with myself about what to do with this shit in my hand. And why i took it.

'you fucking need this, Matty. Do it!' one half is screaming at me.

While my other side is just, quiet. I don't hear a side telling me not to do it.

i could fool myself, and lie. Pretend it's because i know i don't need telling not to. Because i don't do this shit anymore. It's all in the past now.

But i decide silence speaks a thousand words right? Words I'd rather not hear.

I'm sick of words. I'm sick of people.

People only lead you to disappointment. And anger. I get that line now. I understand it now.

I also get that something's not adding up right any more. With anything. An i can't help but feel it's all gonna fall back on me and I'm the one who's gonna lose out and end up hurt.

My hand starts to move closer to my mouth. Without me even realising at first.

It takes the whole of three seconds in my brain to work out what I'm doing. Promising myself I'll do it just this once. I can do it just the once, right.

I mean, it's not like i need this shit! I close my eyes as the familiar taste hits my tongue and the harshness is there at the back of my throat. I've missed this!

I take another drag.

It's not like I'm a drug addict anymore. I can easily stop if- when. I need to. I lay down on the grass, looking up to the dark, clouded sky. My mind slowly becoming foggy. My body starting to feel heavy. Now numb. The anger from a few minutes ago. Vanished. And now I'm happy. Over the moon. So happy. Really fucking happy! Fuck have i missed this!

My phone vibrates against my leg, pulling me out of my daze.

"Lou?" it's Lou! "Lou'steeeer, how you doing bro. Long time no see and all tha-" his annoyance, anger amuses me. As always. He's never happy i sit up "no. Do i sound drunk?" i laugh. I probably do. "I'm better than drink" a laugh leaves my mouth again as i carry on taking back and blowing out the heavy, thick smoke that's clouding my mind and thoughts. Taking it back like it's air i need to breathe "i meant drunk. God. An i dunno what i meant. What you want man?" All ive wanted for weeks is to hear from him. And he calls me now. When I'm like this "nothings wrong!" i snap. Flicking the last of the joint into the field where I'm layed "just tired" i lie. When in honesty, I'm just finding it slightly impossible to form a sentence together. "yeah. Cool" i laugh. Even though what he said wasn't funny "call me tomorrow and we'll arrange something? Cool" i shut the call off before he has chance to reply.