AN: if you have seen season 1 of Legends of Tomorrow (which is one possible reason u r here), pretend that Leonard has that little talk with his younger self before they try to get the dagger from Savage in the 70s.
Depression is a bitch. And it's even more so when certain members of your so called team decide to go after you for something that isn't even your fault. I would know. I was always getting called out by Rip for something going wrong even if it wasn't really my fault. I was trusted by few on the team to begin with and I trusted even fewer. Sara, Jax, Ray, Mick, and of course Leonard all trusted me and I only trusted my original team of Mick and Leonard plus Sara. And they were the only ones who knew what went on in my head.
Mick and Leonard had always known. It was one of the reasons I had agreed to join them. I knew they, or at least Leonard, would take care of me. Mick knew about it and avoided the things he knew would throw me off. Leonard wasn't into the whole "feelings" thing but did what he could to help me out. Once we joined the Legends and I finally trusted Sara, I found someone I could kind of talk to about it. But she would never beat Leonard's way of dealing with it: ranting about what was making me feel down and then eating ice cream while doing something else. Sometimes it was watching tv. Sometimes it was doing something stupid.
Today was no different than any other time something went wrong. Ray had left a piece of his tech in the 70s so Sara, Jax, and Stein went to take care of it while Ray, Leonard, Mick, and I went to get the dagger that could kill Savage. The tech team had no real problems getting back the tech but we ran into some problems. Ray hit Leonard, why I'm still not sure, and ended up with the three of us in a cage and Mick being threatened by Savage. The team was called in and Carter died. And somehow, Rip saw it as my fault we were put into that situation.
"If Ray hadn't hit Leonard......" I yelled back at Rip.
"And if Mr. Snart hadn't brought you along maybe Dr. Palmer wouldn't have hit him!" Rip yelled.
"I was taking care of the alarm system! I wasn't even a part of whatever argument they were having this time!" I yelled. Rip continued on yelling at me but I started to tune him out and focus on keeping calm and not letting him get to me. It was hard but I was able to keep it in until he was done. "Is that all captain?" I asked mockingly and quickly left to my bunk. Technically we weren't supposed to share but Gideon had kept it a secret to keep me out of more trouble with Rip. Leonard and I were next to each other so we had the "wall" between our rooms taken down. Sara was on the other side of me so she just came over whenever she wanted.
I walked past Leonard and Sara who were talking in the corridor. I didn't stop even when Sara called my name. I knew Leonard would be watching me to see if I was feeling low or if I needed him or Sara.
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I just kept walking and went into my room without looking back. I didn't need to to know he had seen what he needed to and was following me.
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