In 2016, I was 17 years old and I was a junior in high school. Shit started to get worse. One of my friends thought I was bitching about her behind her back. I would never do such a thing and honestly it hurt to think someone would accuse me of such a thing.
All my friends immediately took her side and turned on me, I had no one. That day I ran out of class in tears. I just couldn't take it. Ever since I have never been accepted into my group and I have been used as a punching bag... I felt so worthless and for the most part, useless. Things took a turn for the worst in my senior year. I had a new job and my boss was so abusive to me, at first it was only emotional but it eventually turned physical. I would be randomly punched and slapped for simply being there. I felt like I was a pain. I told my parents and they told me to suck it up and it couldn't be that bad... that's when I started cutting again. Throughout the year my 'best friend' began to randomly hate me and became 'popular'. At parties they would call me disgusting and ignore me completely. The cutting got worse and worse and my anxiety and depression got worse. When I cut, it felt like my emotional pain would turn to physical pain and that physical pain so minor would only last such a short amount of time.
Have I tried to commit suicide yet? Yes... but the strength behind that no is starting to dwindle away. With a best friend who treats me like a punching bag, a workplace that used to physically abuse me and family that wouldn't even say happy birthday to me... things were starting to get hard.
