I don't know how to process anything intellectually or emotionally or have a handle on what I believe in mind or heart. At times I think that I have gained a perspective only to lose it to its opposite. Part of me thinks I should just choose something regardless of whether it is correct or not as having a world view and a set view of self would simplify my existence greatly, but it is not my nature. My confusion makes stability untenable, therefore growth damned near impossible. I am stuck in a vortex of their own making. I am a fool and an embarrassment. I look at that chair and think of how nice it would be to relax and succumb and finally end this ceaseless spinning.
