No, the pain of not getting to go out when you wanted to is not as bad as the pain of losing someone you love. No, you don't have the right to act as if these small things you call "first world problems" are as bad as it gets. There is a fine line between inconvenience and pain. Between a small glitch in a normal to semi good day and having to refrain from the extreme urge to kill yourself. I'm so young, but I could swear I've felt the slits of the blood sea's razor and have checked into hell too many times to count. The worst pain, is numbness.
I'm trying so hard not to give up.
It's 2 am and I haven't slept in days. Haven't been out during the day, or talked to anyone for a week. All evidence suggests I am already a ghost. Food? I hardly eat, slowly wasting away. No more family, no more friends. Not very social anymore.
Funny thing, seeing other people hurting always makes me cry. Other people in despair and emotional pain, I get it, I've been there. I want to reach out and say "it will get better, just being alive is worth everything." I want to say "please, please don't give up." I want to say "Someone loves you. your life still has a purpose." For what it's worth, I love you.
Get mad if you have to. Embrace your life and fall passionately in love with life. Shake off the despair and hear the music. Your life is important. Fall in love, with something, someone, while you still have time.
But me? Just a quiet, lonely young girl. Hiding and afraid. Hoping someone sends back a comment. Tell me I'm not a ghost.
