I can feel it in the back of my throat. I'm going to throw up. I need to face the consequences. I present today and I need to face it. I can't run. I'll probably throw up soon. I called a suicide hotline yesterday. Never done that before. While I was getting connected, they played a jingle. I thought how odd it would be for someone holding a gun to their head or on the top floor of a parking garage to hear. She sounded for mechanical and subdued. To be fair to her, I imagine they need to find a balance. Be too "friendly" and you might come off as fake and upset the caller. Don't talk at all and you upset the caller. I mean how do you talk to someone who desperately wants to end their life? I guess the fact that you volunteer says enough. Either way, I didn't feel all that better after. It's fine I guess. I just needed to hear someone, which I got.
