Bucky Barnes Oneshots

So Cold

A/N: play at 0,75 speed and cry with me

Oh, you can't hear me cry
See my dreams all die

As soon as the door fell shut, he broke down, tears streaming down his cheeks while he stared at the spot where she had just stood.
He had planned a future with her, she was his light at the end of the tunnel but apparently, fate didn't want him to reach the end of that god forsaken tunnel.

From where you're standing
On your own

She didn't enjoy, distancing herself from him but she had to put her safety first.
As much as she loved him, his past would never allow him to live peacefully with someone else.
She tried, god she tried so hard to stand by his side through the terror but it started taking both a mental and physical toll on her.
She loved him, she still does and always will but how could she when she was dead?

It's so quiet here
And I feel so cold
This house no longer feels like home

Standing alone in the living room of there shared apartment, he felt like an intruder.
The silence crushed him but he wanted to leave, run away even but his feet felt like they were frozen solid to the ground, not allowing him to even try and go after her.
In secret, she hoped he would follow her, not allow her to leave him in his broken state all alone but when she turned around in the middle of the sidewalk, he wasn't there.

Oh, when you told me you'd leave
I felt like I couldn't breathe
My aching body fell to the floor

Her words pushed all air out of his lungs.
"I can't do this anymore."
What truly hurt was, that she didn't feel safe with him, even though he promised her that he would never let anyone harm her.
He broke his promise but that wasn't what drove her out of his arms.
She got hurt, badly and he took all the blame even when she told him he couldn't have done anything to prevent it but still.
She left because she was afraid.

Then I called you at home
You said that you weren't alone

Weeks after she was gone, he mustered up the courage to call her.
What a mistake that was.
"James, I'm not alone right now."
He could feel his heart shatter at her words, she found comfort in someone else when it should've been him.
He was her shoulder to cry on, her rock when times weren't easy and he could always rely on her to be by his side when his past came haunting in the dead of the night.

I should've known better
No it hurts much more

He should've known.
Of course someone would jump at the chance of being with her.
She was perfect in every way.
But knowing that he couldn't have her anymore destroyed him on the inside.
The first time he remembered something and didn't flinch or tear up at the memory was with her, she filled his life with happiness and light but now that light was gone and it would never come back.
It hurt so bad, knowing that she was with someone else who made her smile, it used to be his sworn duty to make her smile even if she laughed at him for being foolish but nonetheless.

You caused my heart to bleed and
You still owe me a reason

His misery turned into anger.
How could she do this to him?
All he did was love and cherish her and this is how she repays him?
How ungrateful could a person be, to make a man's heart, who's never known love, bleed like that?
He acted like he didn't know why she left but deep down it was crystal clear why she broke his heart.
Because she loved him.

Cause I can't figure out why...
Why I'm alone and freezing

He could feel her absence in his heart and he felt cold, like all the warmth from his life disappeared as soon as she closed the door behind her.
He's been alone all his life and she was this beacon of hope that he didn't have to be alone all his life, that he deserved good too.
But with her gone, the loneliness returned and he found himself on his knees on the floor of thei-his living room.

While you're in the bed that she's in
And I am left alone to cry

He imagined the man at her side and how he'd make his worst nightmares come true if he hurt  her in any way.
How lucky was he to have her, all to himself and if he treated her right, he could spend a long life with a perfect woman by his side.
The thought alone drove tears into his eyes, after he believed he had no more tears to shed.
She was everything he ever wished for and now that she's gone, he didn't know if he could ever find happiness again.

"[Y/n] please don't do this to me, I love you."

"I love you too, James. I'm so sorry."