Bucky Barnes Oneshots

Impurity

You watched him as he stood in front of the mirror after he emerged from the bathroom along with a cloud of steam and heat and despite having rid himself of all grime, dirt and blood, he still felt dirty.
Only in black sweatpants which hung low on his hips you watched from your spot on your bed how he he observed himself in the mirror and you took notice of the frown that became more evident with every second passed, looking at his own reflection.
There was a particularly large scar on the left side of his waist where he'd gotten stabbed on a mission a few weeks ago and it had healed relatively well, despite your lack of expertise in the first aid field and doing a poor job in stitching the wound.
Another circular scar on his right pectoral from that one time he took a bullet for Natasha who had been distracted during another mission.

You grew more concerned the longer he eyed himself with that judging glance that seemed to still condemn him for things he did without having control over his actions.
He traced the long scar across his navel he got after he'd gotten impaled by a metal pole thanks to an explosion and the procedure of removing the pole was branded into everyone's mind as it took several people including you to free him from the huge piece of metal in his guts that almost made his heart stop.
Eventually he began picking at the array of scars at the spot where the prosthetic met his skin and his face contorted into an expression of disgust and he didn't hear you get up which made him flinch when you wrapped your arms around his torso after standing behind him.

"You okay?" You asked him, wanting him to open up to you on his own accord.

"Yeah, it's nothing." He put on a smile and looked at your face in the mirror but your lips remained turned down in a frown.

"I wish I could've done a better job on this one." You said regretfully, letting the tip of your finger drag over the scar on his left side and he grabbed your hand with his right one.

"You saved me from bleeding to death, I'm thankful whether there's a huge scar or not." He said.

"You have enough of those, I could've spared you this one." You chuckled lightly and he turned around, tilting your head up with a finger under your chin.

"You've done so much for me, [y/n]. I wouldn't be here without you and you've made my life significantly better." He said with a smile and you pressed your lips together before you smiled.

You pulled away and reached for his left hand and he apprehensively stuffed his metal hand in his pocket.
Looking into his eyes, you gave him a small nod before gently grabbing his wrist and taking his hand in yours, observing the sleek black metal along with the golden highlights.
You remembered what the old one looked like and how much he hated it.
It was much heavier than the knew one and the red star had been a constant reminder of the people who took his life from him and made him into something he had nightmares about back then.

"I wish I had been there for you back then." You muttered and Bucky was quick to encase both of your hands in his, making you look up at him again.

"You couldn't have changed it, there's no reason to beat yourself up about something like this." He said. "I wish I would've known you back then too, my life would have been so different but we can't change the way things turned out so it's best if we just accept it and move on."

"Also you're with me now so it can only get better now." He smiled broadly and you chuckled before pressing a quick kiss on his lips but once he'd gotten a taste of you, he wouldn't let you walk away that easy so you found yourself in his arms as soon as you detached yourself from him.

Wrapping his metal arm around your waist, his other hand cupped your cheek and the kiss was full of feelings, some of which you couldn't even name but you knew he needed to show you his affection and you loved it.
He wasn't very verbal, he was all about showing you how he felt, holding your hand and squeezing it as a response to you telling him you loved him or the different ways he hugged you, depending on how he felt in the moment.
He had been drilled not to speak but occasionally he told you what was going on in his head and heart just like now and you were proud of him every time he opened up to you.
That way you knew that he trusted you and you would put your life into his hands without hesitation because you knew he would never let anybody hurt you, including himself.

He's always apprehensive about you being close to the metal arm and he prefers not touching you with it but since he was aware of your trust in him, his hesitation always dimmed after a small gesture of encouragement.
Being different was something he needed to know was nothing bad and that everyone is carrying some sort of emotional baggage, some even having a physical connection to that baggage like him.

"I love you." You smiled at him once he broke away and he reached for your hand before giving it a squeeze.

"I love you too."