Lan Zhan's Untamed (Lan Zhan x Wei Wuxian)

Five Years n One day: Drowning in your Memories

Stumbling into Jingshi, a jar of Gusu's Emperor Smile falls from my hand and breaks. I watch as the wine disappears forever in the snow covered ground, causing a stain.

Stain like that in my heart. Dragging my feet through the snow, I lumber through the path to reach the one place I knew, I could find him.

Sacred cold pool.

Disrobing myself, I remove the Gusu band. My hair being untied, splay all over my back.  Placing them on the ground, I slowly slither through the ice cold water. Welcoming the numbness, I reminisce the moment from before.

'If he ever comes back, be rest assured, I will send him back to the hell, where he belongs'

Isn't that what Jiang Cheng threatened me with? He will send my Wei back to the relam he came from.

You cared for everyone but me! You lived for everyone but me! Didn't you ever notice me? Why did you notice my silence but not what is in my heart? Why didn't you ever see my soul? Why didn't you ever stop for a minute and gaze into my eyes? Wei, you would have found my love for you. My soul yearning for you and you only.

You were worried about everyone but me, whilst I waited for you like a fool, thinking we have an eternity and one day... One day, I would confess my heart.

Wei, I was so young to understand what this heart wants. I have never loved anyone before. I never had anyone with whom I could discuss the matter of my heart. You should have given me a chance Wei. This world should have given me a chance.

Just one chance, to profess my love. To profess my unconditional feelings for you. But in return, what did I receive? Scars!

Mental and physical.

They don't matter Wei. For you, nothing matters.

But aren't they enough? Do I have to be punished more?

I am living in an eternal purgatory, Wei Ying! With no way out.

I want to cry! I want to wail! I want to die!

Will you even be there, waiting for me?

What an irony! I don't even know where Wei is. No one does.

Where are you Wei?

Submerging into the depths of the sacred pool, I close my eyes and embrace the darkness around me. Nothing matters anymore. Not my life. Not my values. Nothing but him.

Waiting for the eternal bliss, I feel the numbness seeping into my blood. Those last few moments, I remember him. His smile. His voice. His mischief. Him calling my name.

Lan Zhan.

Yes, Wei Ying.

In the eternal darkness, a force of light warms my skin.

"Open your eyes Lan Zhan" a voice pleads and I obey. Warm black eyes stare back at me with unbearable emotions "Lan Zhan!" and I smile.

"Wei Ying" I whisper.

"Don't do this Lan Zhan, you need to live. Go back" he pleads but I stay still.

"What is life without you, Wei Ying?" my fingers caress his warm cheeks "I am just a shell of a man without you"

He leans into my palms and I cup both his cheeks "Lan Zhan, please go back. Life was short for me but for you, you still have to live" he smiles "live a little for me too?"