Hey, I'm Madison Aden, looks like you found my journal from when I was a kid. Everything in there helped me become who am today, with the contribution of my best friend Jayden Morgan, who was able to let me see life from a new light.
Hear our backs...
I am a very indecisive girl. I have raging emotions, and I can barely control them. I like to say that I think with my heart.
Most of the time, my head gets the best of me.
Then, there are feelings. I can never explain them properly. I can not choose which ones I want to feel. That's what's scary about them. You never know what you will feel next.
I get triggered by almost anything. It can make me sad, happy, upset, and so much more.
As I grow older my emotions become more out of hand. It's probably what happens when you grow into a teenager. I just really want to know why I feel certain ways. Especially towards certain people. One of those people is Jayden.
Ever since that day in the park, I've noticed things about Jayden that I've never thought of before. I am quite the observer, so this should not be new to me. Right?
Like when we do our homework together, Jayden runs his hands through his hair a lot. When he's focused on a difficult problem he plays with the tip of his pen, he furrows his eyebrows, and he pokes his tongue out his mouth. It makes him look silly, but good at the same time.
Oh gosh, I sound like I'm a total creep stalking him.
When we are together and having fun, his eyes are bright and a beautiful ocean blue. Then his eyes can go dark when he is angry or if he feels a great deal of compassion. There's always an emotion he shows through his eyes. I am great at reading people. Reading Jayden is easy because he does not shy away from showing what he's feeling. It can also be hard because he has these blank moments.
I can't express my emotions as he does.
It's been over a year and Jayden still wants a relationship. He wants to be more than friends.
Can I do that for him? Can I push away my thoughts and let myself fall for him?
What am I thinking... There is no way I could do that. I said as long as James also has feelings I wouldn't.
I do not have those types of feelings for Jay.
This is all so new. I don't know what to do.
-Madison
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Well Madison is back and she's here for a bit.
Hope Y'all enjoyed this chapter. Comment your thoughts and I'll be back real soon.
As in most likely tomorrow morning cuz its almost 11 and I'm lazy.
