Hey, I'm Madison Aden, looks like you found my journal from when I was a kid. Everything in there helped me become who am today, with the contribution of my best friend Jayden Morgan, who was able to let me see life from a new light.
Hear our backs...
It's only the second month of the sixth grade, and I feel different.
I feel so alone. No one is there for me. I have no real friends. They are all fake.
I never thought there was anything worse than being a third wheel. But there was. I was a sixth wheel.
No one really noticed my change. No one heard me in the first place. I had breakdowns more often. And to add on to it, his birthday was coming up.
Marq passed this summer. I can't even write his name without tears brimming my eyes.
I feel like I can't control my emotions. I am an overgrown bubble waiting to pop. My triggers are more fierce. Especially this month. I drown. I drown in my thoughts. I drown in emotions. I freely accept my shout-downs.
I feel safer not feeling anything at all. I started putting myself under. It was the only way I could somewhat sleep.
I can't go to my parents. I don't think they would understand. They constantly talk about how other parents are so blind to see the signs of their depressed child. Then how come they can't see me?
It's hard not having him here, and knowing that I would never see him again. It hurts more because I still had feelings for him. They won't go away. I cannot ignore them either.
I want to know the people who made him suffer. The people who hit him with a car in broad daylight and got away. The case was closed. There was no evidence. The street cams were supposed to be fixed the day of, so they weren't working. There were no eyewitnesses.
Marq's body was found on the street by a cop doing patrol. He lost so much blood they couldn't do anything about it. He was gone. My best friend was gone. Forever.
I got nightmares about what happened. Then they started to mesh with previous nightmares. The ones with my cousin. It would always end with me running outside and seeing Marq cross the street, I scream at him to stop, but he kept walking. Then a car comes.
I always woke up in a cold sweat, screaming and in tears. No one in my house ever heard me. Not even my sister whom I shared a room with. They never suspected my mood and attitude change.
I knew I had a problem. But I kept quiet about it.
Marq's birthday is on Monday. Jayden told me that he wanted me to be at his house after school because he didn't want me alone.
I guess we'll see what happens.
-Madison
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Madison needs to be strong.
How will Jayden approach Madison's new personality?
