We Align

Shh... it's okay

A/N: This chapter contains strong depressive moments and self-harm. Read at your own risk.

Shh...It's okay

It was staring at me in the eye, it glistened under the light. A perfect rectangle. I acted on impulse.

Earlier

It was that day, Monday, October 17, 2011. First birthday without him.

I haven't slept in a while. My nightmares kept me awake. Jayden tried to stay up with me on the phone, but he always fell asleep. I don't blame him.

I don't mind not sleeping. I never got extremely tired. Jayden made a promise that he would always be awake at 2 am, for that hour. It was weird, but it always worked for him.

I had a cross country practice that morning. I was quite aggressive throughout the school day. I was quiet during school. I wasn't in the mood for anything. No one questioned me. They assumed it was because it was Monday.

I was the first one off school property when the final bell went off. The final bell goes off at 3:20, and at 3:25 I got a call from Jayden. He wanted to make sure I was coming to his house. I told him I was five minutes away. He told me to look up and ended the call.

He was waiting for me by a mailbox. When I approached him, he gave me a small smile and pulled me in for a hug. I couldn't take it. I broke down gripping his shirt.

He just let me. He knew how I was feeling. He picked me up, and I sobbed on his shoulder while he walked home. I didn't care if anyone saw it.

When Jayden walked into his house, I let go of him and apologized for ruining his shirt. Without thinking, he decided to just take it off.

My eyes went wide, I bit the inside of my cheek very hard, and I sharply inhaled. My reaction was very noticeable. I had never seen a boy without his shirt on before that wasn't on T.v.

Jayden immediately started apologizing. Then he pressed the semi-wet shirt towards his chest and walked upstairs, facing me the whole time.

"Madison, get up here!" Jayden yelled as I stood in the same position for I don't know for how long.

"Are you clothed?" I whispered from behind the door.

"No, I'm fully naked, Madison get in here." He said sarcastically.

I opened the door slightly and peeked through the crack. I was astonished at the sight. Jay turned his room into a star dome. He tilted his bed up against the wall. Then, he made a tent-like fort with blankets, pillows and mattresses. There were food and drinks. Plus he faced all of it towards his tv. He illuminated a night sky full of stars all over the room. It was hands down the coolest thing I had ever seen.

I spotted Jayden snug in the tent on his laptop.

"Care to join me?" He asked, pushing his laptop to the side.

I ran towards him and tackled him into a hug. He stood up, and I was still wrapped around him.

"Mads, you gonna let go anytime soon?" Jay laughed.

I shook my head in the crook of his neck. He tried pulling me off, and he couldn't. So he went in a full arm plank position so gravity would do its job.

"What the heck Madison, how strong is your damn core?"

"I climb trees for a living." I giggled at him.

"No, you fall out of trees for a living."

I raised one hand and covered his mouth, "stop smirking."