Hey, I'm Madison Aden, looks like you found my journal from when I was a kid. Everything in there helped me become who am today, with the contribution of my best friend Jayden Morgan, who was able to let me see life from a new light.
Hear our backs...
That encounter with my cousin still affects me today. I get triggered very easily. I can have simple panic attacks to agonizing mental breakdowns. Now there are these things that I call shutdowns.
My whole body goes into a state of shock, and I can't move. It is like my senses turn off. My eyes can be open, but I cannot see, I cannot hear. I lack the sense of knowing my surroundings, and it can happen anywhere and at anytime. It can last between 5 minutes to 8 hours. I never know when I go into this state although, Beth and Jayden were there and told me I had been out of it. I learned to sense when it is coming. Jayden and Beth are good at quickly bringing out of that state. Their voices are so calming and familiar. It's easy to follow.
I can be triggered by words, when it happens it never lasts as long as actions.
I am very sensitive to touch especially, by a guy unless it's Jayden or James, or Caleb. If I catch the slightest strange vibe by a hug, I can be in shock for hours. I've been working with Jay lately to try and control it. He knows all of my trigger words that can immediately make me go under. Counting seems to be the best. In a low, calm voice, if I can count or hear counting, it's easier to snap out of it.
The scariest times are when I'm alone or at school. Especially at school. Once I was hugged from behind by a guy, and I dropped. No one knew what to do. There were no teachers around because the whole school was in the gym, and I was backstage after performing. I realized I had to count before the shutdown hit. I needed to count to fight it. These shutdowns in the wrong places are dangerous. I am constantly on my toes.
-Madison
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Please Comment and hit that star ⭐️ button for me. I'd love to hear your thoughts.
