We Align

Uncertainty

Uncertainty

I've always been scared of emotions. To me, feeling, is equal to vulnerability.

"Madison you already know how I feel about you. Don't you have feelings for me?"

"I do. I do like you Jayden."

"And I am in love you Mads... I don't think it'll go away soon."

I look at him with a pained expression.

"I can't love you the way you love me."

"Why?"

"Jayden..."

"No! You do not get to look at me like I'm the one hurting you. Why are you so scared to feel for me? Why are you so afraid to love me?"

I looked away from him,

"I am not on earth to love. I have never felt loved. That word means nothing Jay. It's thrown around so much. I don't love. I simply can't be love." I said breathlessly, without thinking.

Silence.

His silence alone was terrifying. I glanced up at him intending to look away again but I couldn't. His eyes captured mine. A new shade. His eyes were so light they were almost arctic blue. They were glossy, tears threatened to pour from his eyes. Yet he never dared look away from me.

His voice was so quiet if there was a pen dropping it would be louder.

"Was I not enough? Did you not see, did you not feel, how much I love you Madison? Was I not enough for you to feel loved?"

"Jay that's not what-"

"No. You meant it. That's fine." A tear slipped from his red eyes. He got up and took two steps away from me.

"Jayden stop." I felt my voice breaking.

Silence.

No. "Jayden please." I walked up to him. And he walked back. So I stood in place.

He responded with more silence.

I couldn't stand seeing him like that. My eyes were burning. I wasn't going to cry. I wouldn't allow myself to.

I wanted to take back my words. I'd do nearly anything to take them back.

This silence was suffocating. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. My body slowly took itself to the floor and I started hyperventilating.

Third-person POV

Jayden was conflicted he wanted to be angry. He wanted to scream. He wanted to let his tears fall. He was frustrated and didn't understand what Madison was feeling. Jayden knew his silence was louder than any sound imaginable.

If Madison got near him. He wouldn't be able to contain himself. He had to stay composed.

Jayden couldn't think straight. He didn't have the words nor thoughts. He just felt immense pain. What brought him back to real life was the sound of gasping.

Madison was on the floor heaving for air. She was having a panic attack. Jayden couldn't stand the sight and went down to cradle her in his arms. He felt as if it was his fault and whispered his apologies to her.

Madison's shaking eventually receded and she calmed down.

Neither of them said a word as they were scared of what would happen if a sound was unleashed to the air. They just held each other in a soft embrace, trying to breathe simultaneously.

Madison's POV

"Jayden?" I whispered, looking up at him. He met my brown eyes. No time wasted, I leaned up and pressed my lips on his.