Hey, I'm Madison Aden, looks like you found my journal from when I was a kid. Everything in there helped me become who am today, with the contribution of my best friend Jayden Morgan, who was able to let me see life from a new light.
Hear our backs...
It's been a while since I've written anything that doesn't have to do with my job.
I like to say that I've changed. Yes, I've changed in size, age, maturity, and intellect.
But I've said it before. I don't like to change.
Maybe that's why I'm so scared to make it official with Jay.
I've never had a boyfriend.
I've never been so emotionally vulnerable with a person.
I want to date to marry. That's where my mind is at.
Can I see myself with Jayden forever?
Will I care for him as passionately as he cares for me?
Jayden has let me call all the shots to whatever we are...
But aren't we technically a thing even if I haven't verbally said it?
Everywhere I go someone says "so you and Jayden huh?"
It's yes but it's no because of the word official.
We are basically technically together.
Diamond said no friendly bull. So what other options does that leave?
Dating??!?!?!
It's all so confusing. Ugh.
I don't want to waste my time on something that won't work.
My problem is that there are no problems. Nothing has gone wrong which makes me paranoid. Something always goes wrong.
I won't lie...
Jayden and I work!
-Madison
I close the journal and walk to my book shelf. I pick out two other books and walk down the hall.
I take a deep breath and knock on his door.
He shows up with a smile on his face, which slowly fades as he sees my current mood.
"What's wrong?" He asks.
"Jayden can we talk?"
He steps aside welcoming me into his room. Jay eyes me closely watching my every move. I sit on the corner of his bed with my legs crossed. He comes over and sits in front of me.
"What do you have there?" He questions me.
Over these eight years, I've changed. And I want him to know exactly how I felt during those eight years.
Lifting each book at a time I explain, "this is my regular journal. Then this is my songbook. And this is my dream journal. I know you have questions and you don't want to offend me by asking so maybe these would help." I say giving him all three books.
He has a shocked expression on his face. "Madison I-I couldn't possibly go through these. There's no way you are just so calm about this."
"I'm calm about this. I'm not calm about the outcome. I trust you and I have nothing to hide. You know me inside out, what's a little more information?" I am freaking out on the inside.
He looks me in the eyes. He is looking for a doubt. He is looking for a way out. I won't let him. "You want me to read about your mind when you were trying to heal. You were like haunted by me. Are you sure you know what you're doing?"
I shake my head, "sometimes we need to take chances, and I think you'd be surprised." I pat his shoulder before leaving the room.
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