always and forever - billie eilish

i wanna cry

title: another love - tom odell

elle's POV

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i wake up in my bed with blu and bear snuggled beside me. i pull them closer to me and they wake up, licking my face and making me smile a little. i hear noises in the kitchen and jump up and bolt to the kitchen. "billie" i call out as i get closer. 

thank god it was just a bad dream

once i get there i see finneas making breakfast and hear soft cries coming from him. "it wasn't just a nightmare was it?" i ask. he turns around and hugs me. not saying a word. he's wearing the same clothes he was last night and he slouches as he stands in front of me. his white shirt has black mascara marks on it and some other makeup. most likely claudia's. his eyes have dark circles around them and his cheeks are puffy, his beautiful, grey blue eyes have now turned red along with his nose. his hands are shaking just as the rest of his body and an unreadable expression sits in the place of his usual bright smile. the smile that could light up a room. it's gone. his hair is messed up, showing that he's probably run his hands through it countless times due to stress and just being all around upset about the situation. he's obviously been crying. i hug him back and fall apart in his arms, sobbing into his shirt. 

she's gone. 

my soulmate.

my light.

my happiness.

my best friend.

the love of my life.

gone.

forever.

"this wouldn't have happened if i had just stayed home with her. i should've stayed home. i should've fucking stayed home." i sob. "there's no way you could've known. no one knew. this is not your fault." he assures me. "she's gone finneas. and it's my fault. don't try to convince me it's not. if i hadn't gotten so pissed at her for that dumbass reason, she'd still be here. but she's gone." i cry. "she's not gone elle."