always and forever - billie eilish

in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me

title: let it be - the beatles

elle's POV

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"alright, are we all ready to go?" i ask. "yes" emory nods. the boys just stare at me, waiting for instruction. "okay, i'll take that as a yes" i laugh a little. "let's get in the car" i order. gray reaches up for me and i smile before picking him up. emory and finn walk behind with billie as we make our way out to the car. we get them in their carseats and billie gets in her seat right after i do. "ilomilo" emory claps. i love that she knows how to say that. that's her favorite song. "you got it em" i agree and turn it on. billie pulls out of the garage and i turn around to see emory dancing in her seat, finn doing the same and gray already asleep. 

billie has an interview and then a photoshoot today and they wanted the entire family to come. i don't know why they think it's a good idea to have three one year olds come to a loud place to be filmed but maybe it'll be okay.

we get to the interview and get the kids out of their carseats. "hold my hand buddy" i tell finn and offer him my hand. he smiles and takes it, emory taking my other. grayson is in billie's arms, still asleep. we get inside and people greet us. "shh" billie orders and points to gray who is asleep in her arms with his head laying on her chest. "sorry" the interviewer sucks through his teeth. "you must be emory" he smiles and crouches down to her level. she looks up at me with a look of pure worry and i laugh a little. "we've taught them not to talk to strangers" i laugh a little. "introduce yourself" i nod. "em, bubba" she explains, pointing to herself first and then at finn. "i'm jacob, it's very nice to meet you" he says and extends his hand. she furrows her eyebrows and looks over at billie before putting her hands in her pockets and looking away with a bored expression. "don't make the mama face, be nice" i tell her. billie turns her head and looks at me with a confused look. "what's the mama face?" she asks. i point down at emory who is still looking away and she laughs. "that's my girl" she smiles. "am finn" finn smiles widely, trying to gain attention. "that's a great name finn, you must be named after your uncle huh?" he asks. finn looks up at me, obviously having no idea what to respond with. "just nod bud. just nod" i sigh. he nods his head up and down quickly and i laugh a little. "alright, let's get this interview started" jacob suggests, clapping his hands once loudly and waking up grayson. "fuck" billie groans as gray starts to cry. "just give him to me. go with mama" i tell emory and finn. they do as told and billie hands grayson to me. "i'll be back. you guys can go ahead and start without me." i say, walking outside.

i sit down on the curb and rock grayson back and forth slowly. thankfully there was no one around so it was just gray and i. "when i find myself in times of trouble mother mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom. let it be" i sing quietly, hoping he stops crying before i start crying as well. today has just been a hectic day. "and in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me, speaking words of wisdom let it be. let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be. whisper words of wisdom, let it be." i continue, still rocking back and forth as he just keeps crying. "please stop crying bud. i'm really trying here" i beg, tears starting to well up in my eyes. "and when the broken hearted people, living in the world agree. there will be an answer let it-" i sing through sobs and eventually break down. "please stop crying." i plead. my head starts to pound and grayson's screams only make it worse.

"let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be. whisper words of whispdown let it be" i hear a familiar, angelic voice sing from behind me. i feel an arm around my shoulders and i turn to see billie sitting on the curb beside me. grayson has finally calmed down to the sound of billie's voice so i feel myself start to relax slightly. "where are the kids?" i ask. "they're inside. i left them in good hands, don't worry." she laughs a little. "are you alright?" she asks with a look of worry, the same look emory gave me a few minutes ago. "yeah. it's all just.... it's just a lot right now" i sniffle and wipe the tears from my cheeks. "i know angel. i know." she sighs and holds me in a side hug, rubbing my arm up and down softly. "but i'm here. always and forever." she reminds me and kisses my forehead. "how did i get so lucky?" i question with a small smile. "i ask myself that every single day." she responds. she presses our lips together and i lay my forehead on her shoulder after pulling away. she rubs my back and shushes me soothingly until i stop crying. "you look beautiful" she tells me as i take out my phone to see if i look okay. "you always do" she adds. "i love you so much" i smile a little. "i love you way more. do you want me to reschedule this and we can go home?" she offers. "no, let's stay here. i can do it." i answer and sniffle once again. "are you sure?" she asks. "yeah" i nod. "okay, are you ready to go back in?" she questions. "mhm" i say after wiping a tear that escaped. she stands up and takes grayson from my arms, placing him on her him before helping me up. once i'm up she repositions grayson so his head is laying on her chest and she's holding him up with clasped hands. 

once we get back in emory runs to me and hugs my leg, finn doing to same to my other. "hey guys" i smile. emory furrows her eyebrows down at her hand and makes a heart with her thumb and pointer finger, smiling up at me once she gets it. billie must have taught her that. "i love you too" i laugh a little and kneel down to their level, letting them both hug me. "are we ready?" jacob asks. "yep" i answer.