always and forever - billie eilish

i don't like mood swings

title: mood swings - a boogie wit da hoodie

billie's POV

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elle's family has come to stay with elle and i because they want to be here for the birth of the babies. she's only six months along now but there is a high chance that the babies will come during next month or the month after so we thought it'd be best to be prepared. we've loved having them here, but elle has snapped at all of us i don't know how many times. 

"it's okay maddie. ellie's just angry right now. it's not your fault. go play with lizzy okay?" i comfort her. elle just yelled at her because she asked to play barbies when elle explained that she was supposed to be in bed about an hour earlier. i ended up taking madison into the other room because they both started crying and i needed to calm them both down but if madison was crying in the same room as elle then it would only lead to elle yelling at her again. 

i get back to elle and shut the door behind me once i see her laying in bed. "hey angel, you alright?" i ask. she holds her arms open with a frown, gesturing that she needs a hug. i oblige and hug her, rubbing her back up and down. "i just... i just feel so bad for yelling at her" she says between sobs. "it's okay ellie. it's okay. she's fine. it's just hormones, it's not your fault. she understands." i comfort her as she cries against my shirt. "i'm so sorry i've been so hard to deal with these past few months" she tells me. "it's alright. i told you i was going to be here every step of the way and if that means letting you cry on my shoulder five minutes after yelling at me, that's what i'm going to do. i don't take it personal when you yell, i know you don't mean it." i say, trying to be as calming as possible. "thank you billie" she sniffles. "do you need anything?" i ask. "i want to apologize to madison." she sighs. "alright, i'll go get her." i nod and let go of her. "hey, i love you." i remind her and peck my lips to hers before looking her in the eye as i lean my forehead against hers. "i love you too" she smiles a little and i walk out.

i find madison and elizabeth in the living room with amelia sitting on the couch watching them. "madison, elle wants to apologize. will you come with me?" i ask. she nods and stands up, walking over to me and holding onto my hand. "she's not gonna yell at me again right?" she asks. "to be honest i don't know but let's hope for the best" i whisper. we get to elle and i's room and madison nervously hides behind me. i nudge her a little to go walk over to elle but she gives me an unsure look. i nod at her and she walks over, hugging elle. "i'm sorry madison. i didn't mean to yell at you. my emotions are all over the place right now and sometimes it's hard to control them." elle explains. "it's okay" madison says with a small smile. "believe me i'd love to play with you, but i need to stay in my bed." elle frowns a little. "it's alright. elizabeth is playing with me" madison tells her. "well you'd better get back to her then huh?" elle asks with a small laugh. "yeah" she nods. she runs out of the room with a giggle and i shut the door once she gets out. i lay beside elle and rest my hand on her stomach.

"you're gonna be the best mom" i say for what is probably the millionth time. "so are you but aren't you scared?" she asks nervously. "of course. i'm terrified. but we can do this. and we have so many people that are here to help us along the way. trust me ellie. we can do it." i comfort her and kiss her stomach. "thank you bil. i don't know how you do it but you know just how to calm me down." she says with a smile. "that's my job mama" i shrug. "when they're born, what're they gonna call us?" elle asks. "i don't know. what do you want them to call us?" i question. "i guess one of us would be mommy and the other would be mama" she answers. "which do you wanna be?" i ask. "mommy" she says after a bit of hesitation. "then that's what we'll have them call you" i agree. "you're gonna be a mama" she smiles a little. "i know, and you're gonna be a mommy" i laugh softly. 

we lay like this for i don't know how long, just enjoying each others company and feeling the babies kick. that's honestly one of the best feelings in the world. knowing that they're in there and healthy. i can't explain how excited i am for them to be born. i just know it's going to be amazing.