always and forever - billie eilish

say you'll remember me

title: wildest dreams - taylor swift

elle's POV

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"she doesn't remember who i am finneas." i sigh, trying to keep in tears as he hugs me which only makes them pour out. "i know, it's okay. the doctors say there is a high chance that she will regain her memory. it'll be alright." he assures me. "i fucking hope so." i sniffle. "i don't want to lose my wife. i got too fucking close to that."

once i've calmed down we walk back in and see billie on her phone, looking at pictures. i see her staring at the picture we announced our relationship with and i smile a little. "you're elle aren't you? this is us?" she asks, showing me the picture. "yeah." i nod. "holy shit bro, you're my wife. that's my wife finneas. damn. you're even more beautiful in person. how did i not realize it was you when you first came in?" she exclaims. "thanks billie. but a little background info on this picture" i start and finneas scoffs playfully. "smart ass elle is coming out" he jokes. "fuck you" i flip him off and continue. "as i was saying before rudely interrupted-" i start and glare at finneas. "about two years ago you and i announced our relationship to the public with that picture" i explain. "we've been together for two years? damn, i never thought i'd do that" she laughs a little and i look back at finneas. "billie, we broke up for like a year" i tell her. "oh shit why?" she asks. i explain everything to her and she covers her mouth with a look of shock and concern. "i am so sorry. i can't believe i did that." she says with the same look. "it's okay. we got past it and here we are" i shrug it off with a small smile, though it really hurt to relive that whole thing.

i end up explaining a lot to her and she listens intently, nodding along and giving me her full attention as finneas talks to the doctors. "let me get this straight, i surprised you with a puppy and then two days later you came home to me playing with this one too? i bought two puppies in the span of three days? without telling you?" she laughs a little. "yeah, but it's alright. i love them" i giggle and hold blu close to me. "sounds like something i'd do. and this guy is a therapy dog?" she asks. "yeah. i got him registered to be an emotional support animal so i could take him to college with me." i answer. "he's so cute" she frowns and scratches behind his ear gently. "you know, i can see why i married you. i may not remember you quite, but i can tell why i fell in love you and i've only been speaking to you for about an hour. i'm damn near falling again to be honest." she says with a small smile. "i really wish you remembered me. but that's okay. we're going to do everything we can to get your memory back." i tell her with a sigh.

we talk for several more hours as i try to jog her memory but nothing really works. "i promise i'm trying my hardest here. i could be lying to you and telling you i do remember but i know i couldn't do that to you." she sighs as she gives up. "i know. i know you're trying. just... give me some hope here." i say with a shaky breath.

seeing someone fall out of love over time hurts like a bitch, but when it abruptly stops that shit makes you feel like you're dying.

like you did something wrong

and in my case, i did.

"one of these days i'm going to remember you. and just spending this day with you has made me realize why i fell in love with you in the first place. i started falling again the second claudia showed me the first picture of you. i got so flustered and i couldn't believe an angel like you would marry me. so either i'll remember you, or we'll have to start a new. but i promise i'm not going to leave you." she tells me, putting her hand on top of mine to comfort me. "i love you billie. and it's okay if you don't say it back. i get it." i sniffle and hug her. "it's okay beautiful. i love you too. i know i do. that's the only thing i'm certain of right now. i know i love you. i know that. i'm sure of it. positive." she responds in a soothing voice as she rubs my back, letting me cry onto her. "you're okay. i know. it's okay." she shushes me and kisses the top of my head.

these words broke my heart

but somehow in a good way

the way she words shit, it's like she's planned every single word out.

the way she holds me close to her reminds me that she cares.

everything she does is perfect. 

angelic.

please let her remember me.