always and forever - billie eilish

remember me

title: that fuckin song from coco that my six year old still calls to sing to me almost every day (it's okay though because he's adorable)

finneas's POV

earlier that day*

---------------------------------------------

i get to billie's room and see her laying down in her bed almost lifelessly. just the sight of her in all those casts brings tears to my eyes. she would hate for anyone to see her like this. especially elle. i know how much billie dislikes when people see her when she's at one of her lower points. even if she's just crying or scraped her knee or some shit. when she's in any kind of pain. when she's broken.

"hey billie. i brought you these." i greet her calmly, careful not to alarm or upset her in any way, and place the box of chocolates on the table beside her bed. "thank you finny" she thanks me in that annoying baby voice that i've missed with all my heart. the one i was so scared i'd never get to hear again. claudia walks in once she's off the phone and stands beside me. "oh thank god a fucking doctor. do you know why i'm here?" she asks, giving claudia her full attention. "shut up billie, i know you're joking" claudia laughs a little, waving her off. claudia walks over to the bed and tries to hug billie but she moves away with a look of pure confusion. she looks over at me for a split second and then back at claudia. "what?" she furrows her eyebrows a little. "seriously billie, stop" i shake my head at her with a small smile as i sit down on the couch. she's obviously kidding. trying to get a rise out of me but that's not gonna work. "but i gotta hand it to you, you're getting better at acting. i almost believed you for a second there." i laugh it off and point at her. "i literally have no fucking idea what you're talking about dude." she tells me, the same confused look on her face.

maybe she's not kidding.

please god, let her be kidding.

"who are you anyway?" she asks, pointing at claudia. "billie, it's me. claudia." she answers with a slight laugh. she's obviously realizing that billie's not joking. she's scared. i can tell. and i am too. terrified to say the least. "yeah bro um, ion know anyone claudia, definitely not you but do you know why i'm here?" she questions, shrugging a little as she speaks. "billie.... i'll be right back i need to talk to one of the doctors." i say and rush out of the room, trying to get to the nearest doctor.

i find the first doctor i see and run to them. the doctor is a woman with her dark brown hair pulled into a low bun. there is a blue mask hanging from her ears, resting on her chin so she can speak clearly. she has a clipboard in her hand as she talks to the secretary. i don't know what they're talking about but i don't care. i need to know if my sister is okay. that's all i care about. "excuse me, do you know if my sister, billie eilish pirate baird o'connell, is suffering from any head injuries? specifically regarding her memory?" i ask. "oh, hello. you must be mr o'connell. i was just about to come speak to you." she smiles a little. "great. go ahead." i order, folding my arms and trying to prepare for what this doctor is about to tell me. something that could change my fucking life. that's horrifying. "listen sir. i really hate to be the one to tell you this, but your sister is suffering from a bit of memory loss. she has lost all memory over what seems to be the passed two years, though we still need to run a few tests to be sure." she answers. "is there any chance she'll regain her memory?" i ask. "well, we're going to put her on medication and i have a list of stuff you can do at home with her. and we encourage you to schedule weekly appointments with a therapist for her. it is a possibility that talking it all out may jog her memory. we're going to try everything we can to get her memory back. trust me, it's one of our top priorities. " she explains. "got it. she remembers me but not my girlfriend, is there a specific way to get her to remember her?" i ask. "just try to do stuff you three have done in the past or do together at all." she nods.  i run my hand through my hair and continue talking to her about how we can help billie.

after a little longer i get back to billie's room and see her talking to claudia who is crouching down beside billie's bed. "see? that's us" claudia says, showing billie a picture of the two of them. "the fuck? when was that?" she asks. "that was at your wedding billie" she answers. "wait what the fuck? i'm married?" billie furrows her eyebrows. "never thought i'd do that, did you finneas?" she laughs a little. "not until you two met." i answer with shrug, trying to keep the fake smile on my face. i don't want her to see how bad this is getting to me. that'd only scare her. "yeah, you guys got married in july. do you want to see what she looks like?" claudia asks. "she?"