always and forever - billie eilish

my first kiss

title: my first kiss - 3OH!3

elle's POV

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"i'm gonna take the dogs for a walk." i tell billie, putting the harnesses on blu and bear. "okay" billie says from the other room. emory runs in from the living room and hugs me. "i go with?" she asks. "sure" i nod. "it'll be just us this time okay?" i suggest. "yes!" she agrees happily. "let me go tell mama." i smile and stand up from my crouched position.

i walk to the living room where billie is and see gray and finn fighting over a toy. "boys stop fighting" billie orders. gray laughs and takes the toy from finn, hitting him over the head with it. "hey! we don't hit!" i yell, making them both give me a look of worry. "i'm sorry i yelled, but that's not nice." i apologize. "you don't see me hitting mommy do you?" billie asks. "you hit mommy just the other day. you hit her bum" gray reminds her. "god damn it bil." i whisper. "sorry." she sucks through her teeth. "that's different buddy. i don't know how to explain it. but i wasn't mad at mommy. she liked it." billie explains. "billie!" i exclaim, giving her a look meaning for her to stop talking. "you'll understand when you're older. it's just difficult to explain right now. the point is, you guys don't hit each other, emory, mama or i." i sigh. "okay mommy" finn agrees with a smile. "i'll see you guys later. i'm taking em with me by the way." i inform them. "okay. i love you" billie tells me, standing up to kiss me. "shit i just got headrush" she laughs, stumbling back a little. "while i'm gone make sure to take an iron pill or something. there's some in the medicine cabinet. and drink some water. i don't know how that will help but my mum always said to drink water whenever there was a problem. okay i gotta go. i love you" i order and kiss her. "love you guys" i say, kissing finn and gray on the top of the head. 

emory and i get outside with both the dogs and i put my sunglasses on. "here sweetheart, but these on" i say, handing emory her sunglasses. "can i hold bear?" she asks. bear has been trained to stay by our side when we go on a walk so he should be fine but i don't want to risk it. "i'm sorry honey, he's too strong" i frown. "it's okay" she shrugs it off and puts the sunglasses on. she puts her hand in the pocket of my hoodie, holding onto the side of it like i taught her to when i can't hold her hand. "how was daycare today?" i ask. "good" she answers. "what'd you do?" i question. "i played with my new friend tom." she answers. 

not all toms are bad. not all toms are bad. not all toms are bad. not all toms are bad. not all toms are bad. not all toms are bad. not all toms are bad. (if you don't remember, elle's dad's name is tom)

"really? what's he like?" i ask. "he's nice. we played together all day and he even let me kiss him like you and mama do" she explains happily. "y-you what?" i ask, stopping in my tracks. "i kissed him" she repeats. "you know, i think it's about to rain let's go back home. maybe you can tell mama what you did at daycare today. i'm sure she'd love to hear about it." i bite the inside of my cheek at the thought of emory, my daughter, kissing a boy. "okay" she agrees.

once we get back home i get the dogs out of their harnesses and put their leashes away. "okay em. go ahead and tell mama what you did at daycare today." i order. "i played with my friend tom" she tells billie. billie gives me a look, showing me she understands why i may be upset. "what did you do with tom?" i ask. "we played and at the end of the day i kissed him like you and mommy do." she repeats what she said to me earlier and i see billie's look of worry turn into a look of anger. "you what?!" she yells, obviously scaring emory as well as the boys. "i'm sorry mama, i didn't know it was bad." she apologizes. "i'm sorry i yelled but you can't do that em. boys can be mean and i don't want you to get hurt." billie sighs. "tom is gonna hurt me?" she asks in a worried tone. "no, that's not what i meant. he's not going to hit you or anything, if he does you tell me, but there's such thing as an emotional hurt. it's hard to explain but you know when grayson or finneas says something mean and you start to cry?" billie asks. "mhm" emory nods. "it's like that but worse because a lot of the time they don't say i'm sorry. you know how mad mommy and i get at them when they do that so they know to apologize." billie explains. "okay mama. i'm sorry. i won't do it again" she assures her. "we're not saying you can never kiss a anyone again, you just have to be careful." i add. "exactly" billie agrees. "wait no! i don't want you kissing anyone ever." billie exclaims. "okay mama." emory agrees. 

i feel my phone start to buzz in my back pocket and the ringtone plays. "i'll be right back, it's the daycare." i say, taking my phone out and walking into the other room. "hello, this is elle o'connell" i answer. "hello elle. i am calling because i think we should have a chat about your children's behavior." the voice responds.

god damn it what did they do now?