always and forever - billie eilish

an imitation

title: imitation - melee

billie's POV

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"come on man, what the hell" i groan. "dada" gray says once again, trying to grab one of my chains. "i know you know i'm not dada. i know you know. you're just trying to bother me" i glare at him. "mama" emory raises her hands up over her head and pulls me into a hug. "see? em knows. hello sweetheart" i smile and hug her back, kissing her cheek. "hi" she responds with that adorable giggle. "you know, you look just like mommy but with my eyes. you're an angel" i frown and hug her once again. she pulls away after a little and looks me right in the eye. "fuck" is all she says, looking me in the eye the entire time and holding onto the sides of my face. "elle can you come here" i call. she's in the nursery with finn right now but i feel like she'll want to hear this. 

a few seconds later elle comes walking in, holding hands with finn as he trips over his feet trying to run to me. "up up up uppity" she sings and picks him up. she rests him on her hip and walks over to gray, emory and i with a smile. "what's up?" she asks. "em, tell mommy what you just told me" i order. "fuck" she repeats happily, obviously proud of herself. "that's kinda weird. where'd you learn that word?" she asks. emory points at me and then claps. "bang bang" she explains, clapping her hands together. "fuck" she says once again. 

oh my fucking god no way. she's imitating elle and i having sex.

"shit" elle's eyes widen in shock and she places finn on the ground, sitting cross legged in front of emory. finn stands up and walks over to me, hugging me with a smile. "hey bud" i smile and hug him back, still trying to process to what the fuck is happenening. "listen em, i know you hear mama and i say that sometimes but that's a naughty word. you can't say that. that's only for big kids" she explains. "fuck" emory giggles. "no emory. that's bad" she repeats. "fuuuuckkkk" emory yells. i sigh and rub my temple, not knowing how to deal with this. "what do we do?" elle asks. "i don't know. she's not listening" i answer. "fuck fuck fuck fuck" emory sings. "emory. do you need to go to time out?" i ask. "no!" she shouts. "first of all, we don't yell. second, you need to understand you can't say that word. that's a big kid word and you're still little. and last, i want you to apologize to mommy for ignoring her when she was trying to teach you something." i tell her. "sorry mama." emory frowns and looks down at her feet. "it's okay angel. you just can't say that word. and you need to learn to respect mama and i. we're trying our best but we're still learning." elle informs her. emory looks like she's about to cry and she hugs elle. "i'm not mad at you love. it's okay." elle comforts her as emory starts crying. elle rubs her back and pouts her lip at me. "mommy and i aren't mad. we love you very much" i say, joining the hug. 

parenting is a bitch sometimes

but i love these kids with my whole heart