always and forever - billie eilish

dada

title: streets - doja cat

elle's POV

six month time skip

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we're sitting in the play place right now, billie, the babies and i. we're seeing if they will roll over from their tummies again. emory did it first and then grayson but finn still hasn't. i'm sure he's getting there though. "i think she's gonna do it" i whisper to billie as emory starts moving a little. she starts crawling towards me and i gasp. "oh my god! good job monkey!" i clap and pick her up. "she just crawled!" billie exclaims. "good job baby" billie smiles and kisses emory's forehead. she smiles up at us and we laugh. "you're getting so big" i say proudly and lay her back down. "dada" grayson babbles and points to billie. "no, mama" billie laughs and points to herself. "he's just babbling. he doesn't know what dada means" i shrug it off. all of them have been calling billie dada for about two months now but i know they're just babbling. "mama" billie repeats, poking her own chest. "mama" finn giggles and points to billie. "yes! good job buddy!" she smiles widely and picks him up. "i'm so proud of you" i tell him. "dada" i hear grayson say once again. 

to be honest i'm kind of scared because the triplets don't have a father figure. i mean yeah they have billie and i but who are the boys going to go to when they need advice from a male perspective? and what about puberty? who's going to teach them about that? obviously billie and i can handle that with emory but i don't know who the boys will go to. maybe we can convince finneas to be that for them. and i know we said i'd be mommy and billie would be mama but what about when they're older? are they just going to call us both mom? or will one of us just be ma? i guess we'll have to see.

for the rest of the day we try to get grayson and finn to crawl. emory has been crawling all over the play place, though she falls every once in a while. "you're doing so good" i tell her, seeing her smile a little. she raises her hand and hits grayson lightly. "no monkey. you can't hit your brothers" i order. she does it again and laughs, making grayson start to cry. "i'll be back" i sigh and pick up grayson, taking him into the other room. "sassy isn't she" i laugh a little. i lay on the hammock and rock us side to side slowly. he starts to calm down as we rock and eventually he stops crying. "you're an angel, you know that?" i say as he smiles up at me. "with the cutest little smile" i giggle and tickle his tummy. "and the most adorable brown hair, and such beautiful eyes and a little button nose" i add and boop his nose, making him smile wider. "you wanna go back to your brother and sister?" i ask, knowing he can't respond. "alright bud, come on" i get up and walk back to the living room where billie is telling emory that she can't hit her brothers, but she does it anyway. "i bet she learned that from you" i joke. "what? no way" she shakes her head. "you always hit your brother, just saying" i shrug and laugh a little, placing grayson down. "i'd hit you, but i can't do that in front of the babies. i'm a role model" she threatens. "alright dada" i burst into laughter and she shakes her head, laughing a little to herself. "i heard that! you thought it was funny" i point at her and she rolls her eyes with a smile. "bitch" she says and flips me off. "not in front of the babies, you're a role model" i mock her. "oh my god you're right" her eyes widen and she hugs me. "see? we're nice to the people we love, even if they're annoying" she explains to the babies. "dada" finn smiles up at billie and tries to grab one of her chains. "no- you know what?" billie takes a deep breath and picks him up, hugging him close to her. "that's better." she sighs and sets him down. "dada" i repeat and once again burst into laughter as i see billie's jaw clench and her glaring at me. "i'll call you daddy" i wink and immediately grimace. "go right ahead mamas. call me daddy" she orders. her eyes widen and she quickly apologizes. "i'm so sorry" she tells me. "no, it's fine" i shake my head and wave it off, trying to hold in tears because i know it was an accident. she wraps me in her arms and apologizes once again but i force myself to hold in tears as memories flood back in. 

that's why i never call her daddy.