always and forever - billie eilish

kicking me

title: all of me - john legend (i couldn't think of a better title tbh)

elle's POV

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the past four months have been absolutely horrible. i'm in pain all the time and i'm never comfortable. the best part of my day is when billie lays on my lap and talks to the babies. it's adorable. i've been waiting for her to come home all day because she's at an interview right now. she tried to get out of all publicity things until after the birth but she wasn't able to. she says she feels really bad about it but it's actually pretty nice to be alone. don't get me wrong, i love billie with all my heart and i'd love to be with her all the time but being alone today has been pretty relaxing. i'm laying in bed right now, listening to music and waiting for billie to get home. i put my hand on my stomach and smile a little. i feel a kick against my hand and gasp. 

the babies have never kicked before so this is pretty big.

i grab my phone and quickly call billie, knowing she would hate to miss this. "hey, what's up?" she greets me once she picks up. "one of the babies just kicked" i tell her excitedly. "holy shit really?" she asks happily. "yeah, when are you coming home?" i ask. "i'll be back soon, i'm just leaving" she answers. "okay. i'll see you in a bit. i love you" i say with the same wide smile. "i love you too. i love you babies" she yells the last part and i laugh before hanging up. 

after a few minutes billie comes running in and lays her head on my lap, putting her hand on my stomach. "you gotta wait a minute" i laugh at her eagerness. "i just wish i was here to feel the first kick" she frowns. "i know, but there's many more milestones to come that i know you won't miss" i comfort her and run my fingers through her hair. "hi babies. i can't believe i missed the first kick. don't worry though, i'll be here for the next one" she says. "what were you doing when they kicked?" she asks. "i was listening to some music" i answer with a shrug. "play the song again" she orders. "okay damn" i laugh and grab my phone. i press play on the song and ocean eyes plays through the room. she smiles and runs her hand up and down my stomach. i feel one of them kick once again and billie gasps. "oh my god, that's our baby in there. i wonder which one it was." she exclaims. "i think one of the babies just kicked another one" i laugh, making billie gasp once again. "don't make me come in there" she threatens and pokes my stomach gently, making me laugh even more.  "which one of us is going to have to be the one that gets mad at them when they do something wrong?" i ask. "i don't know. i feel like it'll probably be both of us. it just depends on the situation i guess" she answers. "i can't wait to meet them" i smile a little and rub my stomach. "me neither. i bet they'll look just like you" she assumes. "i hope they have your eyes" i add. "whatever they look like, they're gonna be beautiful and they're gonna be so loved" billie says with a small smile.  "i wanna be the mom" billie calls. "i don't think you can be the mum billie, you never wear a shirt" i quote. "you're right. if i was a mom this would be kind of shocking. just call me daddy" she continues. "i'll call you daddy" i wink and grimace right after. "there's no innuendos it's exactly what you think. believe me when i tell you daddy loves the color pink" she sings. "billie i think it's 'that he loves the color pink' not daddy" i correct her. "really? i always thought it was daddy" she furrows her eyebrows a little. "i'm pretty sure it's 'that he'" i repeat. "huh. you're probably right" she shrugs. "who is gonna be the father figure?" i ask. "i don't think they need one. we're gonna give them all the love and advice they need and if they seem to need a man we'll send them to finneas" she answers. 

we end up talking about the future for the rest of the night with several trips to the bathroom and me bawling pretty much the entire time. whenever i start to cry billie would wrap her arms around me and tell me it was going to be okay. but truth be told i'm terrified. i just turned twenty. i'm not ready to be a mother of three. that shit's scary. 

but as billie said, we're in it together and we can do it.

hopefully.