[Book 2] Gate Guardian - Song of the Frozen Soul

PHASE 86 - LET'S WATCH THE FIREWORKS AGAIN

PHASE 86 - LET’S WATCH THE FIREWORKS AGAIN

It’s two o’clock in the evening.

The only noise I can hear is my own footsteps. I’m walking down home in the empty dark streets. My body is swaying every time I take a step, exhausted, because of the battle I just had. I’m not injured physically or spiritually, in fact, I’m pretty much able to last a month-long battle with anyone.

I’m injured mentally. There is a fracture in my emotions that refused to heal, and those fractures kept on hurting my heart.

Why did I do that?

Why did I kill my step-sisters? Why did I kill my step-mother? How about my twin brother? The other innocent people? Why did I kill the Outsider?

Those questions echoed in my mind. My eyes are empty, like those of a serial killer’s. I’m mentally broken now, and I could no longer sense what’s right or wrong.

“Ehehe~” I giggled softly. I can’t suppress my urge to smile. Killing people felt so good. Squishing innocent and worthless prey gave more pleasure to me than a thousand bacon burgers. 

As I continue to walk slowly back to my condo unit, I could not constrain my excitement. I’m going home. I’m going home, Rikkun!

When I was finally in front of the door of my condo unit, I saw my reflection on the window nearby. My shrine maiden dress is still pretty much in one piece, but there are bloodstains all over. There’s even a lot of dried blood that painted my hair and half of my face. At this angle, I certainly look like Sadako from that horror movie.

I licked my lips and made a malicious smile. I stared at my own eyes, which are now bloodshot red. The sigil of the cross on my pupils is no more as it was replaced by layers of circles and a triangle sigil. Having the Curse of Necross and the Sin of the Cursed Guardian gave me an assurance of power. 

No one can stop me now. Not even Rikkun.

I reached for my keys and entered inside.

<>

My condo unit is silent. The moonlight is peaking on the windows, signaling the serene night which is about to end a few hours. Jecchan is not here for the time being as she was doing some work in the Black Cross Mansion. I guess she just evaded death from my hands, but that is of no matter to me. Tomorrow is another day.

I made a quick shower over my body. I don’t want my lover to see me bloodied and dirty. I guess I smell like rotten flesh too, so I have to wipe it all off. I guess Rikkun will praise me and give me a head pat if I’m all clean and fragrant. 

I finished washing my body when it’s already 2:58 AM. It’s already late, but it’s not too late to end the night with joy.

Rikkun is the only one here in the bedroom, and he’s sleeping like a baby. He looks so cute and innocent which is contrary to the face he shows when he’s awake. Now that there are only Rikkun and me in this place... 

...I can finally do what I wanted to do with him. I will make our dreams a reality.

I slowly removed the towel on my body, revealing my snow-white flawless skin. I crawled on top of Rikkun, who is still unconscious and unaware of what is going to happen next. I carefully unbuttoned his pajama, revealing his bare chest and abdomen. I gently caressed his skin with my smooth fingers. 

Touching his body gave me an ecstasy that is more of a phantasmal dream.

“Rikkun…”

…

There was a five-second silence. I smiled after that and materialized the plan I had in mind.

I withdrew a kitchen knife that I got from the kitchen and raised it upwards. The moonlight sinks on the shiny metal edge of the cutting tool.

“Rikkun… Let’s watch the fireworks on New Year’s Eve. Just like what we did when we first met. Let’s have that happy ending~”

I was about to bring the knife down to my lover’s heart, but my memory flashed before my eyes.

<>

I remember.

I remember the moment when we first met. When I was lost, he was there to guide me on the side of the riverbank. We watched the fireworks together, holding hand in hand, just to keep me from crying.

(“Here. Try holding my hand. It will make you keep calm.”)

I remember the time when he first died. The burning Kozukata Shrine has left me to a pile of heating rubbles without escape. Rikkun was there to save me even though it cost him his life.

(“If I can’t save you… then I’ll go with you… I'll follow you wherever you go.”)

I remember the time when he saved me from Shirayuki’s Curse. Even though he’s powerless, he bravely went to my side and kiss me to wake myself up. 

(“We’ll be together. Toujours et a jamais.”)

I remember the very first time he confessed to me. Swallowing all his pride and fears, he genuflected to me, with a bouquet in hand. Wild cheers from the students and Parade Club members made the whole school gate noisy.

(“Tiara Hikari… I love you… Will you be my girlfriend?”)

I remember the time when we were so hopeless. That time when I have to replace the Frozen Soul just for all of the existence keeps on existing. Your crying face was burned on the front of my brain, making it impossible for me to forget it.

(“Tiara, please don’t go! I love you too! I don’t mind if you discipline me! I don’t mind if you’re awkward! I don’t mind if you’re perverted and desperate! I don’t mind dying for you for a hundred trillion times! I don’t mind if you pinch my nose! Just, please… Please, don’t go.”)

<>

“E-Eh…?”

Teardrops fell to Rikkun’s rough chest. I did not realize that I was already crying when I reminisced all those memories we had together.

“What… What am I doing… Rikkun… please forgive me...”

I started to make an inaudible but soft cry. My hand which is holding the knife refused to move as if it was frozen. Rivers of tears flowed and crawled on my cheeks. My mouth only uttered baby noises as guilt has struck me.

This is the time I realized deep inside myself that I could no longer hurt the man I loved. I can kill my family. I can kill my friends. I can destroy this world. I can massacre everyone in other universes. I can defeat all the gods and goddesses, all Eidolons included.

But there is one thing I could not do. I cannot kill him. I have killed him before and I know that feeling of infinite dread. 

I was wrong for doing this. I was wrong all along. If there’s one person who deserves death, it’s not Rikkun. It’s not Erylle, or Diadem, or Mrs. Baroquefloux, or Drex, or Sis Alice and Bella, or even Benedict.

If there’s one person who deserves death, it should be me.

Finally, the muscles on my arms soften. I can move once again. I can deliver a finishing blow to myself with this kitchen knife. One strike to the heart, and it will be all over. Once I’m dead, the shadows will stop. There will be no more gruesome deaths, and everybody will have a happily ever after.

This life of mine is a small price to pay for the sins that I’ve done and for the salvation of everybody.

“I love you, Rikkun…” I was able to utter my final innocent smile to the man I love, without any sign of malice or subconscious evil. And then… I made my last word. “Farewell.”

The knife went down, and blood splattered all over the glass window that blocked the moonlight from illuminating the room.