Fighting Gravity / A Jordan Knight FanFic ✔️

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Molly

She lay in his arms as the night crept forward. She was overwhelmed by her love for him. No one had ever made her feel the way he did. He had finally kissed her. His mouth on hers was like breathing for the first time. His hands, his body... She softly kissed his chest and she thought about the last two months as he lay sleeping. She thought about what he had said and how she was not good for him. She looked up at his face. He was so peaceful: so beautiful. She considered that he was right. She had begged him to be with her and though she wasn't sorry, she wished things could be different. She wouldn't fit into his life. She would hold him back. He would suffer trying to make it work. In trying to put him together she had broken herself apart.

He had told her that he wanted her to go. He had told her he would never love her. She had made love to him and he didn't love her in return. The pain shot through her chest, cutting her into pieces. He would never love her; those were his exact words. She wasn't good enough for him. She didn't deserve him.

She had promised him she would leave if he kissed her and he kept his end of the deal. His kiss... She felt her lips. She could still feel him on every inch of her body and inside her. She would never forget how his touch made her feel; how his lips were strong and soft and how she was forever changed by him. She told him she would go. He'd fired her. He'd told her he didn't want her near him. Is that why he had avoided her for so many days? He'd felt sorry for her. Was that what this was? He had felt sorry for her because she pleaded and begged him to kiss her. Had he fucked her while she made love to him out of pity? Was this is a goodbye gift to her? He had only conceded when she swore she'd go. He didn't want her, he felt sorry for her. If this was a contest, then he had won. She conceded her mind, body and soul to him. She was convinced; he wanted to be rid of her. This act meant he would be free of her. She could feel the pain building inside of her; a pain that consumed her. It was a different kind of fire. This fire burned her from inside. This fire was pain and loss and emptiness. She needed to set him free of her and her incessant need for him.

She took one last look at him and felt herself dying inside. He was so amazing, and she was nothing to him. She bent down and whispered, "You have so much to give. I hope you find it someday. I love you, Jordan, and I always will. You are free."

#

Jordan

Jordan awoke to his cell ringing. He was in his bed in Germany. His mind immediately went to Molly. He had just had the best night of his life. He couldn't believe how quickly he'd fallen asleep. He'd been lying in bed every night unable to sleep because he was thinking of her. When he finally had her in his arms, he was so at peace he drifted off before he could even tell her how much she meant to him.

He opened his eyes and she wasn't there. He felt happy and content. She must be in the bathroom. When she came out, he was going to tell her what he should have said last night. Last night had made him see. He couldn't live without her. Somehow, some way they would make it work. He'd made so many mistakes in his life. It was clear to him that she would never be one of them. He needed to tell her how much he loved her. He wanted to show her again and again, just how much. He got out of bed, dragging a sheet and went to the bathroom. She wasn't there. He looked around the room and he saw a note on the table. She must have gone to change. He smiled to himself as he picked it up and read it. His face dropped and his heart sunk.

Jordan,

I'm sorry I pushed you so hard. I know you didn't want this. As promised in return for your generosity last night, I have gone home. I left my ID and keys with Sidney. I thought about everything you said to me and I realize that I will never be what you need or want. I'll never forget you.

Molly

Jordan read the note three times and his hands grasped at his hair. He had told her he didn't want her. He told her to go. She believed him. Oh God! What did she think he was doing when he made love to her? He reread the note, "your generosity"? Did she think he was giving her a goodbye gift?

Oh fuck! What had he done? He called her cell and it went to voicemail. He called her room and no one answered. He called the front desk, "Ms. Porter checked out late last night."

She left? Where did she go? She left her keys with Sidney... He dialed Sidney's number. He didn't even say hello. "Where is she?"

"Last night she knocked on my door and said you had fired her. I insisted that she let me speak to you but she said it was set in stone. She was crying, Jordan. I don't know what happened between you two, but you need to talk to her. She said she messed everything up and that you had told her you didn't want her around anymore. You need to apologize. You can fix this."

"I didn't say that... I mean... I didn't mean it... Fuck! I thought she understood. She just left? I should have told her. She left me lying there thinking we were okay. She could have talked to me. She could have said goodbye. I really fucked up this time. When did this happen?"

"It was 11:00 p.m. last night. She left me her ID and your house key. She's gone, sweetie. She told me she had a 2 a.m. flight connecting to Chicago."

Jordan hung up the phone. She left. She said she'd never leave him, but then he made love to her and she left? He thought she knew. He thought she could tell. Did she not feel it when he made love to her? Did she really believe he wanted her to leave? Had he not shown her how he felt for her? How could she just run away and not talk to him? He had kissed her because he wanted to, not because she begged him. He was so stupid.

Jordan flipped the table and threw his phone across the room. He had never been so angry in his life. He sat on the bed and wanted to bust something. Then he wanted to cry. Should he just let her go? Would this be better for her in the long run? He'd just lost the best thing that had ever happened to him and he never even told her that she was the love of his life.