Chapter 38

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Eyes

JAYNE'S POV

After a night of tossing and turning, I woke up at 6 with Draco's words still in my head.

This whole time I wanted to protect you but I'm the one you need protecting from.

I didn't understand. Who was he lying to? Umbridge or me? I got out of bed and left Ginny and Hermione a note thanking them and left Gryffindor dorms to go get ready. When I arrived at Slytherin, the common room was a wreck. The Weasleys twins must have pulled off a prank because there were remnants of one of their weather balls. I quickly went up to my room and it was empty. Cami and Kenz must be with their boyfriends. I took a shower and blow dried my hair and added some make up. Then I got dressed. I wore my white button up with the vest over it and my skirt. Then I put on my thigh high stockings and stuck my wand in them. I pulled on my shoes and robe and grabbed my stuff and left. As I walked towards the Great Hall, I ignored people looking at me. I kept my head down just like Harry said. When I got to the Great Hall, I saw Cami and Kenz sitting at the table so I sat next to them. "Hi Guys," I said. "Oh so now you want to hang out with us" Cami spat. I looked at them and they were both glaring at me. I felt my heart sink. "What?" I asked. "Shouldn't you be with your Gryffindor friends?" Cami said. "Yeah, lying to us about some stupid army" Kenz snapped. "Guys I'm sorry. It's just-" I started. "Save it. I don't care if you are friends with Gryffindors or a part of the army. I'm upset that you thought you couldn't trust me enough to tell me." Cami said. "Or that you thought we wouldn't want to join" Kenz said. "I'm sorry, I just" I stammered. "Yeah well you should be" Cami said. They both stood up and left. I sat alone at the Slytherin table in shock for a moment. They were right. I knew Cami and Kenz wouldn't have said anything and they would have been great in DA. But I lied to them anyway. Now I just lost my best friends. "Wow, you have some nerve" I heard a voice say. I looked up and saw Goyle, Crabbe, and Blaise walking over to the table. "Not only are you a slut, You are a disgrace to Slytherin." Blaise snapped. I stood up and tried to walk past them but they blocked my path. "Please just let me pass," I said. "Hold on, I really want to know what it's like being Hogwarts biggest slut" Goyle asked. They all laughed, but I kept my head down to hide my tear filled eyes. I tried again to push past them but it didn't work. This time Goyle got angry. He pushed me and my back collided with the ground. "Hey, Back off!" a voice yelled. Then I saw Harry, Ron, and Hermione run in. "Get away from her" Harry snapped as he helped me up. "Or what?" Blaise said. They all stood toe to toe, like they were about to kill each other. "Enough" a voice said. We all turned and saw Draco walking in. "What's going on?" he asked. "Your pet ape here is harassing Jayne" Hermione spat. "I didn't ask you mudblood," Draco said. "We were simply discipling the slut and then these Gryffindors intervened." Blaise said. I saw Draco's fist clenched at the word slut but he didn't say anything. "Good job Inquisitorial squad. 10 points from Gryffindor and Jayne you have detention." Draco said. "What?" Ron exclaimed. "You are crazy if you think I'm going to let her go anywhere alone with you" Harry said glaring at Draco. "Unfortunately, you don't have a choice" he said as he turned on his heel and walked out. His friends gave us all one more smug look and followed after him. "Are you ok Jayne?" Harry asked, turning to me. "Yeah, I'm sorry about your house points." I said. "It's alright," he said. "Don't worry, the house cup isn't our biggest concern this year" Ron said with a laugh. "Why don't you sit with us" Hermione said softly. I nodded and ate at the Gryffindor table. Then I went to Potions. My heart was beating faster and faster as I headed for my seat next to Draco. I didn't want to go, I was afraid. Not of him, but of how he makes me feel. I don't know if I hate him. I want to. I really do. But I don't know if I can. That scares me.

I walked over slowly and sat next to him. I could immediately smell the Dior Sauvage and it felt familiar. I felt safe with him. Still after everything, I felt safe. After I pulled out all my materials, I looked up to him looking at me. "What?" I snapped. Despite how conflicted I was, I knew I was angry and that wasn't going to change. He used me, exposed DA, humiliated me, and broke my heart again. I may not know if I hate him, I know I'm mad. "You have detention with me tonight" he said plainly. "I'm aware" I snapped. "Be at the DADA classroom at 5, don't be late" he said. "Or what, are you going to use veritaserum on me again or are you going to just let your friends humiliate me in front of everyone?" I said. He looked at me and his eyes were cold. "Get over yourself" he scoffed. "Who are you? Because this is not the Draco I know" I said blinking back tears. "Look, there is no 'Draco you know'. I just used you to get DA for Umbridge and my father. I'm sorry you were pathetic and fell in love." he said staring at his parchment. I felt the tears falling down my face. He doesn't get to see me cry. "Yeah, I'm sorry too" I said and I left.

JAYNE'S POV

"I really don't think this is a good idea," Harry said. "I don't either mate but Jayne is right. We don't have a choice" Ron said. "Fine, but I'm walking you there and walking you back" Harry said. "We all will," Hermione added. "Thanks guys'' I said as we walked to my detention straight from Umbridge's punishment. We all had to use the quill. There were first years in DA and she even made them use it. Then she got mad at them for crying. She is insane. That's why Harry is nervous for me to go to Draco's detention alone. They walked me there and I made it right on time. We stood outside the door and Draco walked up a minute before 5. "Why are they here?" he scoffed. "To make sure you don't hurt her again" Hermione spat. I gave them a look and they walked away. "Let's go," he said, opening the classroom. We walked in and he shut the door. My heart was beating out of my chest and my hands were shaking. "I'm not going to hurt you Jayne." he said calmly. "I know," I said. "Then why are your hands shaking?" he asked, walking slowly towards me. I didn't answer. I just shoved my hands in my pockets. "Your hands only shake when you are afraid." he said reaching for my hands. He pulled them from my robe and took them in his. His hands were always cold. My hands stopped shaking when he held them. I looked in his eyes trying to understand what was going on inside his head but I couldn't. "Draco, you have to tell me what is going on." I asked. He dropped my hands and walked away. It was like I flipped a switch back. "I'm pretty sure I already told you. You got played." he scoffed. No eye contact. "I don't believe you." I said. "Well you should, if it makes you feel any better you were good in bed" he said with a chuckle. Still no eye contact. I walked closer to him. I stood so our chests touched. I grabbed his chin and forced him to look at me. "So you never loved me" I asked. He pushed me away. "Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me and I'll believe you" I said. He stood there for a minute. He hesitated and for a second I thought he was going to stop. I thought he was going to stop and apologize and explain. I thought he was going to tell me why or give a reason, anything. But no. He walked up to me and looked me in the eyes. "I don't love you, got it?" he snapped and walked out. The second I heard the door close, I dropped to my knees and sobbed. The whole time he wouldn't look me in the eyes so I thought he was lying. But I guess I made that up to convince myself he loved me. He played me. He used me to get to DA. He never loved me. None of it was real.

DRACO'S POV

I did what I had to do. I keep telling myself that as I stand outside the door listening to her cry. She hates me. But this is what I needed. I needed her to hate me. It will make what about to happen so much easier for her. I promised myself I would protect her and if that means I don't get to have her, then I guess I don't get to have her. She deserves better than me anyways. I just wish she didn't make me fall in love with her. I wish I could be the stone cold, emotionless Draco again. But I can't. Because even though she isn't mine, I still love her.

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