When Love Gets in the Way

Chapter Thirty-three

Luca

I frown as I notice Seb starin at me and raise an eyebrow at him. He sighs and then shakes his dam head. How dare he shake his fuckin head at me!

"What ya fucking want?" I snap and he sighs again. Seb and I have a strange relationship. It seems like we fuckin hate each other but we're actually super close. I just get pissed with his shit and he gets pissed with mine.

"I wanna talk to ya but ya ain't gonna listen are ya?" He sighs and I shrug.

"Might." I tell him and he sighs for like the millionth time. His fucking lungs are gonna explod in the minute if he ain't careful.

"I think ya should stay away from James." He states but I shake me head and start to walk away.

"Ya were right. I ain't gonna listen ta ya shit!" I call to him and I smile when I hear him growl in annoyence.

"Just think for a moment. What ya got compared ta him?" Seb says causing me to turn back and look at him.

"What?"

"He's a rich kid, who goes ta a fuckin private school for snooty shits and he's clever as fuck. Why'd he date ya Luca?" He states and I think for a moment to try and find a decent answer.

"Cause he loves me." I reply which only makes Seb laugh.

"Don't be thick like before. Ya know how people like him see us. We're just the messed up fails that clutter their world and breath their fucking oxygen." He reminds me and I sigh.

I already know everythin he's saying and I have already though bout it all.

"James ain't like that." I say.

"Wake up Luca. He's just using ya. As soon as he finds someone better he'll be gone." He tells me and I want ta deny it but somethin inside of me says that he's right. Why would someone like James like a messed up arsehole like me?

"Ya wrong." I say feeling unsure of myself as the words leave me lips.

"I haven't been before." He reminds me and I sigh as this crap feelin starts to embrace me so I can't escape.

"Nah, ya haven't." I mutter before heading off home.

_________________________________________

I sigh as I stare at the cracked, moldy wall. I bring my knees up to me chest and lay on my side as I reply me conversation with Seb from earlier.

I dunno if he's right and I really don't want him ta be but I fear that he could. James is rich and clever while I'm just me. I can't do maths or read well enough to be anything in the world.

I'm just the messed up peice of shit that me parents constantly remind me I am.

Me stomach rumbles and I groan at the thought of havin to move from the safety and comfort of me room. I stare at the window ta see that it's dark outside meanin that it must be past ten.

I heard me parents go ta bed a few hours ago. Well, they probably got too drunk and decided ta lay down for a bit.

I sit up and sneek outa me room and ta the grubby kitchen. I open the wonky fridge door and groan when I find it empty. Would it hurt me fucking lazy parents to shop every once in a while?

I check the moldy cupboards and sigh when I find them all empty as well.

I check me room for any food but there ain't any. Not even pizza under me bed! I groan and lay back down to resume starin at me wall.

Me stomach rumbles again but I ignore it as I roll over and stare at the ceiling.

Guess I'll have ta go hungry tonight.

_________________________________________

"Thought ya'd be with ya stupid boyfriend." Seb muses and I roll me eyes at him.

"James ain't stupid and he's spendin the day with his grandfolk" I tell him and he nods as he shoves a portion of chips at me.

"Have ya thought bout what I told ya?" He asks as we walk to a bench and sit down.

"Nah." I lie. I've thought bout nothing but what he said yesterday but I ain't gonna tell him that. I ain't givin him that satisfaction.

"Ya should. I'm just tryin ta look out for ya." He says but I shrug.

"James ain't like Brandon." I state before I shove a handful of chips in my mouth. I'm so fuckin hungry!

"Ya didn't think that Brandon was like Brandon." He reminds me and I sigh before punchin him in the arm.

"Your a dick ya know?"

"Yeah, I am." He says sounding too fucking proud.

"Ya asked Oliver out yet?" I ask and this time he punches me. I burst out laughing but he only huff's in annoyence.

"He ain't the same after seeing Brandon." Seb says and I sigh.

"No one ever is." I point out.

"He'll go away adventually." Seb reasures me and I nod even though I don't believe that. No one knows Brandon like I do and he wants war.

"I hope ya right." I say as I shove another handful of chips in me mouth.

"Even if I ain't, he ain't gonna get what he wants." Seb says and I nod.

I watch as cars drive past and people walk past like Seb and I are invisible. Well, we are invisible really. People with money and purpose never notice people without.

Why did James notice me?

Has he really noticed me?

"I hope ya right bout James. I don't wanna have ta pick up the peices again." He says and I sigh.

"Ya won't have ta." I reasure him and myself.

"Ya found a new job yet?" Seb asks and I nod feeling a small sense of pride at the fact I can actually do somethin right for once.

"Yeah, that old fart that owns the veggie shop needed someone to restock shit." I explain and Seb laughs.

"Do ya get an employee discount?" He asks and I laugh at that.

"Yup, ya buy me chips and I get ya fresh veggies." I state and he punches me again while laughing.

"Ya better get me some nice shit as well ya prick." He laughs.

"Hey! What's wrong with veggies? Ya can get ya five a day half price." I tell him as I finish the last of my chips and then snatch up a handful of his.

"Fuck off." He says as he shoves me away from his food.

I take another handful of chips from him and then throw my greasy chip newspaper in the bin.

I smile at Seb but a recurring thought keeps bringing my mind away from the moment...

James, have ya ever really seen me?