When Love Gets in the Way

Chapter Forty-six

Luca

I fucked up...

I don't know how I fucked up but I have...

I stare at me phone wonderin if I should try and send one more message ta James.

He's been avoiding me and I don't know why. Maybe it was only a summer thing? Maybe some super hot bloke asked him out?

Nah, James would tell me if he found someone better. To be honest it ain't hard ta find someone better. I ain't the best.

I must have fucked everything up somehow. Maybe he don't like the way I eat? Maybe I swear too much? Yeah, I speak so different ta him that he probably hates it.

I scan his messages for fancy words and then start ta write a new message ta him.

Hey james. I was wondering if ya wanted ta meet me at the park today

Okay... That sounds shit!

So, I can't write posh and fancy like he does. I just don't understand why he does that. It saves time to just tap in a quick message without checkin spellin, grammar and all that shit.

James just don't make sense ta me but I guess that's one of the rings I like most about him. He's different in a good way...

Nah, in a great way!

_________________________________________

"Luca, a word please."

I sigh and turn ta look at the old dude who owns the veggie shop. He smiles at me kindly but I still don't trust him.

"What's up?" I ask as I turn ta look at him. I was just about ta leave since it's the end of me shift.

"I can't give you anymore working hours like you asked. I'm sorry but you're too young right now to work that much." He explains and I sigh.

Just fucking great!

I was hopin that if I could just get some more money here, I could pay the rent. Now I'm gonna have ta look for something else ta do.

"Okay... Thanks." I mummble. He sighs sadly and I raise an eyebrow. I'm the one going through shit so why's he pissed?

"Why do you want more hours?" He asks curiously.

"Money." Is all I say. The best lies are the ones that ain't really lies.

"Why do you need money? You haven't gotten yourself into any trouble have you?" He asks and I almost laugh. He means the sort of trouble that involves drugs and gangs.

"Nah, I just wanna have some cash." I tell him and he nods with a small smile.

"Okay, I'm sorry I couldn't help you." He tells me but I only shrug.

"Don't worry about it." I tell him before I leave.

I shove me hands inta me pockets and start to walk down the street. The weather's nice today but I can't focus on it. I've gotta find some way ta get some bloody cash.

I glance inta the park and then freeze. Sittin on a bench with some people I've never seen before is James. I stare at him and his eyes meet mine.

I wanna run ta him and ask what I've done to upset him. I wanna fix us so we can go back ta normal. I wanna but I don't.

He looks away from me and then starts talking ta the people he's with. I can tell that he's purposely not lookin at me and me heart sinks.

He promised that he wasn't like Brandon yet here we are. I'm being fucking ignored again. Only needed when they want.

Anger floods inta me body but it's instantly put out by sadness.

Fuck this!

Fuck life!

Fuck everything!

I continue walking. I walk as far as I can before I sit down on a bench. Being in a fucking massive city means that ya not supposed to bump into people ya know. I've always thought that yet he bumped inta me when we first properly met. Maybe it's ment ta be?

I sigh as I bring my legs up on ta the bench and lay down.

I can't focus on James or whatever I've done ta fuck up. I need ta focus on gettin cash or I ain't gonna have a house next month. Neither will me pissed parents and as much as I which that on them I can't do it. I fucking hate them but they have looked after me. Well, kept a roof over me head anyway.

I wanna be angry. So fucking angry! I wanna hate everyone but I can't. I'm too tired to. I feel like I should hate me parents, Brandon and James but I can't. Maybe I'm just too broken to?

_________________________________________

I groan at the ache in me back and then groan again at how fucking old I feel.

I open me eyes ta see Seb looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Maybe ya should think twice before fallin asleep on a bench?" He suggest and I groan again.

"What time is it?" I ask as I sit up and rub me eyes. He sits down next ta me and laughs.

"Why? Got somewhere ta be?" He asks and I roll me eyes.

"Nah." I tell him. We sit in silence for a second on two before Seb sighs.

"James texted me ta say that he'd seen ya asleep on the bench. He said he was worried that ya would be here all nigh." He tells me and I look at him in surprise.

"Really?" I ask soundin way too fucking hopeful.

"Yeah. I don't know why he didn't just wake ya himself though." He states. My hope gose. I want ta tell Seb about him avoiding me but I don't. He'd get all crappy about it and I don't what that. He's still not happy with James datin me and this will just make it worse.

"He was probably busy. Don't worry about it." I tell him but he doesn't look convinced.

"Luca, has somethin happened?" He asks me but I shake me head.

"Nah, stop worryin." I tell him.

Everything's fine...

Everything's fine!

Everything fucking fine!