When Love Gets in the Way

Chapter Sixty-nine

James

I watch the love of my life disappear into the wind and rain with a melancholic expression and no rain coat.

I chew in my bottom lip as worry closes up my lungs and starves me of oxygen. I stand in the open doors way trying to calm myself down when someone's hand lands on my shoulder. I turn to see my farther standing there with a conserned expression.

"Are you alright?" He asks clearly noticing my heavy breathing. I nod and turn away so I can stare back into the night. My parents have always worried about me but it got even worse when they descovered my anxiety. I can't help feeling this way and it just happens sometimes but they tip toe around like they're scared I'm going to break down at any moment.

I'm not...

I hope.

I shut the door when I feel more steady and then turn back to my father ready to face him.

"I just want you to like Luca." I tell him before he has a chance to say anything. I remember how Luca walked into the night with his head down and hands in pockets. Afraid and alone. I shake my head and focus on my father again.

"He's hasn't exactly sold himself to us." He tells me and I frown.

"I love him." I say like it changes everything and to me it does but it clearly doesn't to him.

"You're young James. You're still finding yourself and right now you think you know best." He says and I push past him and back into the dinning room where my mother still sits unsure of what to do.

"Why don't we talk about this?" She suggests and I instantly turn and leave the room again. I hurry up the stairs and shut myself in my room before I flop down onto my bed.

I pick up my phone and text Luca.

Are you at home yet?

Nah.
Nearly tho
Ya ok

I stare at his messages smiling to myself at the way he writes. I used to think that knowledge, manners and perfection where the most important things in life but after meeting Luca I don't believe that anymore. I can love him despite the fact he lacks those things.

I love him so I decide to be honest with him.

No, I'm not okay. Please can we talk on the phone?

A few seconds later my phone lights up with a call from Luca. I answer instantly.

"What's up?" He asks. I can hear the rain and wind on the other end. They drown out Luca's voice yet I still know what he's saying.

"I'm feeling really down. I guess it's due to the attack and everything else." I tell him and I know that he won't judge me for any of my problems. He understands me better then my own parents do.

"Things are gonna get better. Garrett will catch the bastards and life will get better. Soon it'll be summer and ya do ya exam shit and get the best scores. Ya gonna be fine James." He reasures me.

I love the way he says my name.

"Should you really be out alone after the attack?" I ask and I can practically hear him shrugging.

"I ain't gonna be attacked. Don't worry." He tells me and I let out a long sigh.

I'm scared.

I'm scared because everything is changing. I'm scared because Becky isn't happy at all and I don't know what to do. I'm scared because Luca's hurting and I don't know why. I'm scared because I have my GCSE's this academic year and with everything going on I haven't had time to revise.

"Stop worryin." Luca says like he knows what I'm thinking. I smile a little at how well he knows me and then sigh again.

"Will you tell me what's wrong?" I ask him unable to stand it any longer.

"What d'ya mean?" He asks and I sigh.

"Will you tell me why you're hurting yourself?" I ask wishing that I had phrased it better.

"I'm not."

"Luca..." I whine. I wish he'd be honest with me. I know that this must be hard to talk about but at the same time he must need someone to share it with.

"I'm fine." He says clearly lying.

"You're not." I state and he lets out a long sigh.

"Neither are you." He argues. "I know ya scared and I dunno how ta help. James, I know ya worry but please focus on ya instead of me."

"Will I see you tomorrow?" I ask him. I have one day of weekend left and all I want is to spend it with him. I know that my parents would give me more time off if I said I needed it but I need to go to school and prepare for my exams.

"Got work." He reminds me.

"You shouldn't be working after the attack." I tell him sternly and I can almost feel his stubbornness radiating through the phone.

"I gotta. Maybe ya could drop by and get a carrot or somthin." He suggests and I laugh.

"Brilliant. I'll be there." I tell him smiling.

"Really?" He asks and I nod before slapping myself in the forehead at the realisation that he can't see me.

"Of course. I hate not spending time with you." I say blushing at the awkwardness of what I just said.

"I hate not spendin time with ya too." He tells me before he stops and sucks in a deep breath.

"Are you okay?" I ask him sitting up in bed as panic starts to squeeze my chest and block my lungs.

"Yeah. I'm home now so I gotta go." He tells me and I groan.

"Really? Can't we talk for a while longer?" I ask desperately. I feel so scared and alone right now yet talking to Luca makes that all better somehow.

"I'm sorry." He says and I know that it's not up for negotiation.

"I'll see you tomorrow." I tell him not wanting to take any time away from him and his family. They must be worried about him after not seeing him for a while and the attack.

"Yeah. See ya." He calls back.

"I love you." I tell him.

"Love ya too." And the he hangs up. I stare at my phone for a few seconds before I place it down and slide off of my bed.

I pick up the pajamas Luca was wearing the other night and slide then on inhaling deeply to smell his scent.

He smells of Luca. There's not other way to describe how he smells. So many smells bundle into it that it makes my heart burst.

We'll, righ now the pajamas don't smell of alcohol like he and his clothes normally do. I wonder why?

Maybe his parents drink? They'd have to drink a lot to produce such a strong scent though and Luca's never said that they drink. In fact, he hasn't really said anything about them.

I lay down in bed and close my eyes. I know that things will change between Luca and I as we learn more about each other but I know that we can soldier through anything and everything together.

It's going to be awkward and stiff between my parents and I for a while but I can put up with it and soon everything will go back to normal. They'll see that I'm no different then before and they'll stop judging Luca from his appearance and they'll learn to care for the sweet boy I know and love.

Everything will get better with time.