Diana(#Wattys2015)

Chapter 54

Diana’s POV

Last night I didn’t sleep properly and I had another nightmare. I dreamt that Harry and Wilma got married but Wilma cheated on him with so many men that she can’t even remember their names. It was a horrible dream and such a disgusted thing to think about. I don’t even want to think about them even kissing but them being married is just worse.

I hate my life so much now! First Jack ruined me, then Wilma and now Harry. I have no one in my life right now. I’m only letting Jack hang out with me because he’s the only one I have right now. Believe it or not I still am afraid of him and I’m so scared that he  would hurt me again like he did before that’s why I don’t want to upset him in any way. He has anger issues and I would hate to get him on wrong side anytime soon.

I am so confused and all I want right now is Harry but all he wants is Wilma. I still can’t believe it’s only been two weeks and he really doesn’t care about me. He hasn’t called, he hasn’t visited, well I don’t think he even knows where I’m staying, but he has Wilma there with him so why would he care about me anyways? I guess I left for the right reason.

I throw the covers off of me and climb out of bed. I run a finger over the new scars on my wrists; I couldn’t refrain from cutting myself yesterday so after Jack left that’s what I did. I hate myself for self-harming all the time but there’s nothing else I could do; for me it’s the only way out of this emotional pain I have right now.

When Harry and I were together I couldn’t think of cutting because he was always there for me and he made me feel like I really was his Princess.  I miss him so much, I miss him calling me all those wonderful names especially Princess. That one was my favourite. I miss him so very much. I never wanted to fall in love again after what happened between Jack and me but I made a huge mistake by falling for him. I wish I can turn back time because if I can then I wouldn’t be in this mess.

Since its spring now it’s not as cold as before so I grab a grey t-shirt, a pair of black jean shorts and go into the bathroom to get cleaned up. I look at myself in the mirror and I almost don’t recognize my own reflection. I have small bags under my eyes, my hair is in a huge mess, my eyes are red from all crying I did last night and there are new scars on my wrists. I look like total crap.

After doing all my morning duties I head out of the house. I walk a few blocks and end up finding a little coffee shop on the way. I was about to walk straight pass it but I end up walking in after smelling the delicious food and feeling the hunger taking over. I walk up to the little counter and order some pancakes and coffee. I sit at a booth and eat my food in peace.

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Harry’s POV

I watch a girl with curly long blonde hair take a seat right at the side of my booth. It’s Diana but she doesn’t look the same. I was hoping to see her but not here. Since a few days ago I have started coming here, this little coffee shop, to eat my breakfast since it’s not far from where I live. I take a few glances at her but she doesn’t look the same way from before. She looks different, her eyes look slightly red and swollen and she looks worse than me, I might not have able to recognize her if I hadn’t grown so close to her.

I want to call her out but she might just ignore me. I don’t know what to do because I have been longing to talk to her for so long. I can’t think straight now and I really, really want to go over and sit next to her and talk to her but somehow my legs don’t want to move. I have a bad feeling that she might just brush me off but I can’t help myself; I love her so much that I can’t take being away from her for so long.

I sit there mentally debating about whether I should go over and talk to her or not, while eating my blueberry pancakes and drinking my coffee. I see that she ordered the same things as me except the pancakes aren’t blueberry, they’re plain and she isn’t even using any syrup. I wonder why she’s acting and looking so different from the Diana I knew before. I wonder what got into her. I hope she’s alright. I hope Jack didn’t find out where she’s staying because if he did I don’t know what he would do to her. I hope he didn’t do anything to her because I already told her that I won’t hesitate to bash his head in.

After eating my pancakes and drinking my coffee I step out of the booth and walk closer to Diana’s booth. She has her head down and she’s seems to hardly be eating. I haven’t eaten properly too since she left but today I couldn’t help myself with those blueberry pancakes. I just love those. I clear my throat and she looks up.

“Harry?” She whispers.

“Hi.” I smile down at her.

“Uh I have to go.” She gets up, pays for her half eaten food and quickly walks out of the little shop.

What is wrong with her? After paying for my breakfast I run out after her. I have no idea where she ran off to but I come to conclusion that she might have went back to her parents’ house. I set off to find their house which is about two to three blacks from here.

***

Diana’s POV

As I near the cliff I slow my pace down and stand not far from the edge. I stand there panting because of all the running I just did. My hands are on my knees and I’m so out of breath. It takes me a few moments to recover and when I do I walk closer to the edge. I remember this cliff; it’s the same cliff I came to when I realized that my life wasn’t worth it anymore. It’s the same cliff that I was about to jump off but Harry ended up saving me instead and from that day on I never regretted living but I do now.

I do regret not jumping off because if I did I wouldn’t be in this position right now. I wouldn’t be hurting this much. I wouldn’t be lovesick over a guy that doesn’t care about me anymore. I wouldn’t be running away from him now. I wouldn’t have to worry about anything if I jumped off that cliff. I might be in heaven right now with my mom and dad.

As I walk closer to the edge I take slow deep breaths. I might have missed my first opportunity but this time there’s no one to stop me from jumping off. I hate my life anyways. It’s useless without Harry and I know I’ll never get him back but I will love him forever.

I hear the waves crashing just like the first time I was standing here but this time unlike the last, I take a glance down and see the water below me. I feel the cold breeze hitting my face and blowing my long hair about. I close my eyes and take another step further.

“Diana!!!” I hear a deep familiar raspy voice calling my name but before I know it I’m already falling.

So much for a happy ending…Well hope you guys like this chapter and I apologize it’s a cliff-hanger. Today’s my brother’s birthday and I will be out later I just hope nothing goes wrong, hopefully. And guys speaking of birthdays my birthday is two weeks from now! What are you all getting for me? Harry will be more than enough for me and I will be thankful, lol. Ha I wish. Well have a great day/night whatever, love you all very much! Thanks for 4.7k xoxoxo