Diana(#Wattys2015)

Chapter 42

Diana’s POV

It turns out that the way I have been feeling was because of PMS (Pre-Menstrual Syndrome). I wasn’t feeling too cheerful and Harry told me that I was too quiet and by myself too much these past few days, but now I realise it’s only because of our weird girl problems. I had another dream last night, actually a nightmare, about Jack again. And the inner fear I have been feeling is still present. I don’t know if Jack is around somewhere because I dreamt that he came and took me away from Harry. I hate having nightmares of me being taken away from Harry because that’s one of my biggest fears right now.

I hug my books tight as I walk down the pavement covered with fresh snow from this morning. School just finished and Harry couldn’t come and pick me because he had to go to the studio to make a demo of his new song or something.  He’s such an incredible writer. Yesterday when he was in his library I went up and read some lyrics to the new song and all of them had great meaning. He is an amazingly talented songwriter.

I walk along the sidewalk thinking of how my life would have been if I hadn’t met Harry. I would have probably jumped off that cliff and be dead by now. I might have gone to heaven and met back up with parents. Gosh I miss them so much. I miss Maria, my best friend too and I kinda miss Jack too in a crazy way though.

As I approach the corner of this street I smell smoke, no cigarettes actually. As I walk closer I notice that there is someone standing close to the corner smoking. The person’s back is turned to me so I can’t see his face. I make my way closer to the certain person and walk right pass him quickly because I hate the smell of cigarettes.

“Hey.” I hear the person calling me back after I have passed him.

I stop in my tracks before I can walk any further. Wait a minute, why does that voice sound so familiar to me? I know that voice but I just can’t wrap my head around who that person may be. I try my best for my brain to figure out whose voice it is when the person catches up to me. I notice his breathing is a little uneven and the cigarette he was holding is now gone.

When I look I’m met with blue eyes and the face I could never forget. Wonder how I forgot his voice. I don’t know what I’m feeling right now, maybe a bit nervous. I look the person from head to toe and I can’t believe he is standing in front of me right now. It feels like one of those dreams I’ve had so many times.

“Jack?” I mumble.

His gaze of me doesn’t seem to move as he looks me up, head to toe as I just did to him. I notice he has s few tattoos on his arm now and he’s also smoking. Wow he really has changed from when I was his girlfriend. One thing hasn’t changed though and that’s his beautiful looks. He’ll always be handsome in my opinion.

“Yes it’s me Jack. Hard to believe huh?” He smirks at me.

“Yeah it is.” I murmur.

I feel so weird talking to him right now after what happened between us. I wonder why I haven’t seen him around. I mean it’s not like he lives in another state or something. I really don’t know what to say to him right now so I just stare the ground.

***

Jack’s POV

I look at Diana as she just stands on the cold, snowy sidewalk not even looking up at me. Her eyes are glued to the ground and I feel so bad for doing what I did to her. I feel so bad that I wish I can go back in time and change that. But I can’t and I hate myself for hurting her so badly. Yes I could have killed her but at that time I didn’t know what I was doing. She knows that it’s hard for me to control my anger and there she went and got me extremely angry.

I have never done anything as bad as that to anyone but now I hate I hate myself for hurting the love of my life. I know I deserve to lose her but I can’t stand to see her with someone else, especially someone like Harry. I don’t know him but according to that bitch, Wilma, he’s only using Diana. I don’t know how true but to me it seems like he loves her maybe as much as I do.

“Diana, I’m sorry. I’m really, really, really sorry for what I did to you. If I can go back in time right now and change that I would.” I lift her chin up to make eye contact with her.

She looks sad and hurt because I brought the topic up but what else can I do. I love her and I want her back. She turns her head and my hand loses contact with her chin. I know she doesn’t want to hear about this but I have to apologize.

“Jack it’s been about three or four months, I haven’t seen you, heard from you or anything and it’s not like you live far away from me.” She fires at me.

“Hey I searched a lot of places for you. I went to your parents’ house so many times, at first I thought you were ignoring me then I found out that the house became abandon because your parents died and you weren’t staying there anymore. What more could I have done?” I defend myself.

“You had my phone number didn’t you?” She asks with anger in her tone.

“I lost it when I smashed my phone into the wall out of anger. You had my number you could have called me.” I reply.

“Why would I call you Jack? You hurt me, very badly; you’re the one that’s supposed to call me.” She says on the verge of tears.

I know she’s right. Whenever I try to make things good between us something always messes it up. I feel the guilt rising up in me and it’s not a nice feeling.

“I know and I’m sorry I really am…” I try to her hand in mine but she only pulls away from me. She has every right to.

“Just leave me alone, please.” With that she wipes her tears and hurriedly walks home.

I just stare after her hoping I can still make things right between us but I really know I can’t. But I’m not going to stop right there, I’m going to try my best to get back my Diana.