Jaylor One Shots

Renegade

"Hey Taylor?" Joe's head peeps through the doorway, Taylor pulls her hands away from the keys for a moment.

"Hmm?" She asks softly, her mind trying to seem uninterested.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" She watches his body lean against the doorframe, his hand subconsciously running through his blonde hair. God he's beautiful. She does want to watch a movie with him, craves nothing more, but she knows she shouldn't. So she softly shakes her head,

"Not right now." She murmurs, turning her gaze away from him and back to her piano. Her fingers slowly play some simple melody until she hears him walk away. She sighs, knowing damn well she's pulling away from him, that her walls are rebuilding themselves without him inside. But for some reason, she can't seem to stop herself, she isn't quite sure why and it aches her heart to be doing so. 

Her hands continue to glide along the keys for hours, she practically falls asleep at the piano before she drags herself up to bed. As she climbs the stairs, she feels her anxiety creep back in. The piano had kept it at bay, but now she's stopped playing, her hands are quivering, her heart's beating a little faster than normal. This has to stop. It has to. Taylor takes a shaky breath before entering her room, Joe is already lying in bed, clearly waiting for her before he allows himself to fall asleep. They lock eyes for a moment before Taylor turns to walk into the ensuite, stripping down before stepping into the shower. She sighs, letting the hot water roll down her back, not really making any effort to clean herself, opting to just stand there and let her mind go numb. The anxiety that's weighing on her chest makes it hard to breathe normally, or function in any way so she just stands there. She stands there for god knows how long, but she hears a knock on the door which brings her rushing back to reality. 

"Taylor? Are you okay?" She hears Joe's calm voice call through the door. She knows he's worried, she isn't quite sure how long she can keep pushing him away until he finally snaps. She knows what she's doing is wrong, the way she's treating him is awful but she's so wrapped up in her own mind that she just can't let him in. Can't even explain why she's acting this way. She doesn't have the strength to call back to him that she's okay and sure enough, the door slowly creaks open. His blue eyes meet hers, a silent question passing between them, one she doesn't know how to answer. 

"Are you okay?" He murmurs, his eyes feel like they're piercing her soul so she looks away. She just simply nods before moving her face under the water, letting it rinse off - or rather hide her from a conversation she doesn't want to have. When she pulls her head back out from under the stream, she notices that Joe has left the room again. Her mind just feels so heavy that she can't even bring herself to care. 

Her fingers look like prunes before she manages to drag herself out of the hot shower, wrapping a towel around her small body. She hugs it tight against her chest, takes a deep breath before stepping back into the dimly lit bedroom. She walks into the closet, tugging on some underwear and a sweatshirt before finally crawling into bed. Taylor purposefully turns her body away from Joe, not wanting him to know how fucked up she is right now, he seems to be good at knowing when she's really hurting and she just doesn't want him to know how deep it's running. Her heart is beating wildly and she can't stop the gentle tremor in her hands. After a few minutes, she feels him shift. His arms encircle her from behind, holding her gently, grabbing her hand and holding it close to her chest, his thumb delicately rubbing her hand. And suddenly, instead of focusing on the weight of her mind, she's paying attention to his warmth, how nice it feels when she's being held tightly like this. She feels safer in his arms and that scares her. She can't let herself become dependent on this safety, or else what will she do when he leaves? She's too exhausted to push him away right now, so she lets herself slip into a deep sleep, the best sleep she's had in a while.