Jaylor One Shots

I Messed It Up

Joe walks through the door of Taylor's New York apartment feeling flat. He's just messed up an audition that had been really important to him, no he's left feeling like a big failure. He knows he's being a bit ridiculous, his life is good - he's done really incredible work before but for some reason this is hitting him hard. Entering the apartment, he looks around at it. It's hitting him just now how big it is - how fancy it is. Hell, before her he'd been living his in parents house. Taylor's success had never bothered him but today, he can't quite help but compare her success to his and it sinks his mood even lower. He isn't good enough for her, a blind man could see that. She's Taylor Swift, who the hell is he? 

Taylor isn't home yet so he quickly climbs the stairs to her room, jumping in the shower in her massive ensuite to freshen up and get into something comfortable. When he's done with all that, Joe just sits down on the bed, trying to collect his thoughts - not really wanting to be feeling like this when she gets home, how do you even explain to someone like her how he's feeling? It doesn't take long before he hears the front door lock click. Taylor's home. He really doesn't want to tell her what's bothering him so he chooses to fake a smile instead. She enters the room and grins at him, pressing a kiss to his lips before slowly taking off her coat. 

"Hey babe, how was your day?" She asks brightly, the happiness on her face makes his heart clench - he really does live for that smile. 

"Fine, how was yours?" He murmurs. She stops unzipping her boot and looks directly into his eyes, raising an eyebrow.

"It was good...are you okay?" Joe nods, forcing a small smile for her. He watches as Taylor tugs off her shoes before sitting down next to him. "You sure?" She asks softly, her bright smile has faded into a concerned look. He feels her place a hand on his back. Usually her simple touch would've made everything disappear, but he's particularly agitated tonight. He feels a small bubble building in his chest.

"I'm fine Taylor." He says shortly, standing up - forcing her hand to fall from his back. He leaves the room without an explanation before walking downstairs, running a hand through his hair and letting out a frustrated sigh. Joe doesn't quite know what to do, he's feeling at a complete loss. The last thing he wanted to do tonight was upset his girlfriend, but he can't stop feeling incompetent compared to her. It's not her fault of course, it's just how he's feeling right now. A part of him still remembers that he's just having a bad day - but his thoughts are beginning to consume him. 

"Joe." He hears Taylor call his name calmly behind him but he refuses to turn around, not wanting to see the hurt or disappointment on her face. He begins pulling random things out of the kitchen cupboards - anything to distract himself from his thoughts. "Joe, what happened?" Taylor's voice cuts through the kitchen again and he sighs, leaning his forehead against the cupboard and closing his eyes. He hears Taylor moving closer towards him, her arm winding delicately around his shoulders, encouraging him carefully to turn towards her. He follows her silent direction before pressing his face into her shoulder. He holds onto her waist, finding himself needing her now. He feels her arms wrap firmly around his back, pulling him close and providing the silent comfort he desperately needs. He takes a few deep breaths, nuzzling his face into her neck before they both just stand there quietly for a while. 

A few minutes late, Joe pulls back, quickly turning around to start dinner. Taylor stops him - grabbing onto his hand and tugging him into the living room. She sits him down on the couch, facing her. He notices she hasn't let go of his hands, squeezing them gently. 

"You can't keep something that's so clearly bothering you bottled up. Talk to me." She murmurs softly, gently caressing his hands with her thumbs. Joe just hangs his head, burying his face into her neck again. 

"I messed up my audition today." He mumbles into her skin. He feels her let go of his hands, moving to wrap her arms around him.

"Oh Joe I'm so sorry, that sucks. I'm sure you'll get it next time." She tries to comfort him, probably unsure as to why he's so upset about this - obviously it's more deep-rooted than that, but she doesn't know that yet. Joe takes a deep breath,

"It just...it made me feel, I don't know, incompetent I guess? Then I came here and I was reminded of how successful you are. I think it hadn't quite hit me before, I mean - you're you and who the fuck am I? I just feel like I'm not enough today, like I don't deserve you." He feels a tear slip out of his eye. Taylor pulls him a little tighter now, pressing her lips to the top of his head. He's still got face still buried in her neck, unable to look at her. Silence falls over them for a few moments, he assumes she's trying to figure out what to say. 

"You're not incompetent, first of all. You've done so many amazing things and I know the best is yet to come. I know how much it sucks to get rejected, and it makes sense that you're feeling low because of it - but I also know you're going to get back up and nail it next time, or maybe the time after, because that's who you are. You love what you do and you're so good at it." She pauses, pressing another kiss to the top of his head, gently stroking his back for a moment. "Second of all - you absolutely deserve me. I don't know where I'd be today with without you. You helped me put myself back together again after everything that I went through, you wanted me when I wasn't shiny anymore. That just proved to me that you actually cared about me - that it had nothing to do with my image, but that you love me for who I am as a person. Before you I hadn't felt that way in such a long time. I love you for the exact same reason, I love you for you. It wouldn't matter to me if you quit acting tomorrow to pursue a different job, because I love you whether you succeed or fail. Every day I look forward to coming home because you're here - I get to see you. Even when we're apart, I know I can come home and call you. You're the best person for me Joe. You always will be." His words have brought tears cascading down his cheeks, he winds his arms firmly around Taylor's waist, pulling her into his lap. Joe finally lifts his head up to look into her eyes. She smiles softly at him, reaching up to gently wipe away his tears with her thumb. He kisses her softly before resting his forehead on hers.

"Thank you. I love you so much." He whispers softly, smiling at her through his tears.

"I love you too, please don't ever forget how much I love you." She murmurs, gently caressing his face. 

"I know you do, I just got...overwhelmed I guess." Taylor combs her fingers softly through his hair, causing him to immediately feel calmer.

"That's okay, feeling overwhelmed is normal. God knows how much I get like that, and you're here for me every single time. So I'm here for you too, okay?" She says gently, the sincerity in her eyes could get him to do anything. He nods, melting into her as she wraps her arms around his neck, resting her head gently against his shoulder. He tightens his grip around her, pressing a kiss to her head before resting his cheek there. 

The couple stay wrapped up in each others arms for a while, happily content to just be here with one another. Joe feels his anxieties melting away with every moment they hold each other. Taylor's words really mean a lot to him, he always knows she loves him but hearing all of that is what he'd really needed tonight. After what feels like forever - but not long enough - Joe lifts his head up off of hers.

"So, what do you want for dinner?" He asks, a playful smile on his lips. Taylor looks up at him grinning, climbing off his lap and holding out her hand. He takes it, standing up with her. She pulls him to her, kissing him deeply. Joe moves his hands from her waist up to her hair, tangling his fingers up in it, gladly melting into the kiss. He can feel her pouring so much love into the kiss, he does his best to reciprocate. As they break apart, Taylor grins at him - her arms winding around his neck as his go to her waist.

"I love you so much Joe, you're the one for me. I just know you are." She says softly, biting her lip  as she stares up at him with her bright blue eyes.

"I love you too - you're definitely the one for me. Thank you for your little speech tonight, it seriously means a lot." He murmurs before pressing a kiss to her forehead. The couple smile at one another before walking hand-in-hand to the kitchen, ready to continue with their night as normal.